I hope you are having a great week so far. :)
Today, I was hoping we could just chat…ya know, as friends.
I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately. Well actually, ever since we moved in June.
I absolutely love the land and location of our new home, but the home itself has been a difficult adjustment. I can truthfully say that I dislike everything about the inside of our home (minus the addition). The rooms are very small, the flooring is hideous, my kitchen is disgusting, storage space is limited, and most days I feel like I am living in a junk pit.
I do not like to complain on my blog because I want it to be a positive, uplifting place. And whenever I start to complain about my circumstances, I feel like a brat. I begin to think of people who are less fortunate. Of children who would love to call my house “home”. Of people who sleep on the ground rather than a bed, and who would never complain of a room being small. Of children with hungry bellies that wouldn’t give a hoot about how ugly my kitchen was, but instead would be smiling as they discovered the food within it.
I really have nothing to complain about.
So why am I complaining to you?
Because I want to be real with you.
Every since we moved into our new home, I have been posting about all the projects we have been completing around our home. I have been sharing videos of our hard work, and of some of the fun. And you have left so many sweet comments. Many of you ask how I get it all done? How do I keep it all together?
Well, I don’t.
Last night, I was sitting on my couch crying. Not bawling crying, just crying. I had been to my physical therapist earlier that day, and my back was killing me. I do not think I have ever shared this on my blog, but I have scoliosis in my back, and I deal with chronic back pain.
I had so much to do last night, and my back wouldn’t let me. I felt defeated as I looked at the piles of “stuff” that still needed to be done. Like all of this junk in front of my fireplace that I don’t have time to organize.
And this gorgeous antique buffet that I purchased at the Habitat Store a couple of months ago, but haven’t had the time to refinish.
And my back patio has just been storage for more junk and projects. The theme song from “Sanford and Son” comes to my mind every time I look at it.
Adam and Eli’s closet door has looked like this since the day we moved in…
I do not even have the energy to share pictures of my kitchen and bathrooms with you. :)
Should I even bring up the 200+ emails in my inbox that still need to be answered and taunt me every time I open my gmail account?
Everywhere I look, I am reminded of all the work I have to do. It’s not a good feeling.
And oh yeah! Let’s not forget that I am raising four boys! Yowza! There are baseball practices, piano lessons, homework, meals to cook, laundry, etc.
Ugh. I feel so overwhelmed!!
And I needed ya’ll to know that.
I need you to know that I do NOT have it all together. I need you to know that sometimes I just want to cry from all the frustration.
So what’s a girl to do?
Eat an entire tub of ice cream?
Write an entire post about her woes and complain to thousands of people she has never met in real life? :)
Read His Word.
Can you hear me preaching to myself?
I need to keep my life in perspective.
I need to keep my mind focused on what matters most.
That is not my home.
Not my blog.
Not my DIY projects.
It’s my heart.
Am I seeking peace in Christ?
My mom’s favorite verse was, “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be afraid.” John 14:27
John 16:33 says, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
Psalm 105:4 “Seek the Lord and His strength, Seek His face evermore.”
I want to share with you an excerpt from my devotional book, “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young.
It is written like a love letter from God. Here is what He is saying to me today:
“TRUST ME in the midst of a messy day. Your inner calm–your Peace in My Presence–need not be shaken by what is going on around you. Though you live in this temporal world, your innermost being is rooted and grounded in eternity. When you start to feel stressed, detach yourself from the disturbances around you. Instead of desperately striving to maintain order and control in your little world, relax and remember that circumstances cannot touch My Peace.
Seek My Face, and I will share My mind with you, opening your eyes to see things from My perspective. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid. The Peace I give is sufficient for you.”
Ladies, please KNOW that I do not have it all together. If I have ever portrayed that I do, I am sorry.
I’m just a wife and a mom struggling to handle all the responsibilities thrown at me each day.
But it is my prayer that I never loose focus on what matters most in this life. And that I seek God to give me His strength and His peace in my heart.
Thank you for letting me share my heart with you today.
(I feel better already.)
God bless you, sweet friends.