Wow. It feels kind of weird writing the title to this post. Sadly, many of your probably do not even know why.
I used to write that title on my blog every Wednesday for an entire year. If you remember me writing my “Wednesday with Wanda” posts, then you have been with me for a looooooong time.
Like 4 years long.
If you were not with me back then, let me explain.
My mom passed away four and a half years ago from Stage 4 gastric cancer.
She was 64 years young, and she only lived 7 weeks after her diagnosis.
We were devastated.
I come from a very close knit family. My mom was my best friend.
I was only 38 years old when she passed, and my youngest son, Eli, was only 2 years old.
Here are my boys the day of mom’s funeral.
My mom wasn’t just “any mom.” She was the best mom a little girl could ever dream of.
That’s me in the red. Mom treated us to a shake.
She taught me things that were priceless. She introduced me to Jesus, not just through her words, but through her actions as well.
She was beautiful, inside and out.
She lived to serve others. I wish I had her servant heart.
Mom always found the good in everything, always prayed, always believed.
I never, ever once doubted her love for me. I always knew that my mom was there for me with words of encouragement and lots of hugs!
Mom with Eli
She was too young when she passed. She still had so much love to give and life to live. My heart ached every day for her. My blog was only about 6 months old when mom passed. She was the one who introduced me to blogs and encouraged me to start one. I am forever grateful.
To help me deal with her loss, I began writing about my mom every Wednesday. I wanted a place for my boys to go and someday read about their amazing grandmother because I sadly knew that they would probably not remember her.
I thought that my posts every Wednesday were for my children. But they actually ended up being more for me because God used them to heal my heart.
The posts I wrote about my mom are hands down my favorite posts I have ever written on my blog.
If you haven’t read any, you can find them in my navigation bar under “Wednesdays with Wanda.”
Some of the posts that mean the most to me are:
*August 28, 2009 Liquid Prayers
*October 6, 2009 Wednesdays with Wanda (Note I found from Mom the day before her funeral.)
*January 6, 2010 Wednesdays with Wanda (It Matters – Part 1)
*January 13, 2010 Wednesdays with Wanda (It Matters – Part 2)
Now, almost 5 years later, mom is still touching my heart and speaking to me.
This past Sunday was a very special Sunday for us.
Our church is currently without a music minister, and our pastor asked Jonathan to lead the music this past Sunday for the whole service.
That’s a pretty big deal for a 14 year old, ya know?!
Most of the congregation is 3 to 4 times Jonathan’s age, and yet he was so excited about the opportunity.
Just a note to those of you who do not know, my son Jonathan was born with a hearing loss and only has 50% of his hearing in his ears. He has worn hearing aids since he was 3.
Mom had a special place in her heart for Jonathan. He was my firstborn. We were broke, and Mom was so worried about Jonathan getting everything he needed for his disability. Since insurance didn’t cover it, Mom paid for Jonathan to go to speech every week for a year when he was about four. She also helped pay for visits to the audiologist and for his first pair of hearing aids.
Actually, Jonathan was in need of a new pair of hearing aids when mom got sick. The old ones were outdated and not working well. She had been saving money from each of her paychecks to be able to buy Jonathan some new hearing aids. When she found out she was dying, she was devastated because she knew she would have to use the money she had saved for Jonathan hearing aids to pay for her own medical bills. It broke her heart, and she told me she was sorry every time I saw her.
Oh mom, if you only knew.
Mom DID buy Jonathan new hearing aids, she just wasn’t alive to see it. You can read about that story, HERE.
It is hard to believe that we worried if Jonathan would even be able to speak when he was born, and now he is singing God’s praises in front of tons of people!!!
So many times, I wish that Mom could see Jonathan up on stage singing now. She would have been so proud.
On Sunday, I kept thinking, “Mom wouldn’t believe that Jonathan is leading worship!” She would have been there in the front row to see it all, if she could of.
I am thankful that Dad and Janet were able to be there to see Jonathan sing, though. It made it extra special.
Jonathan lead the first three worship songs, and then it was time to sit down for the sermon.
The pastor told us to turn to Luke 18 for the scripture reading.
I began flipping to Luke in my bible. Well, actually it is Mom’s bible. I’ve carried it to church ever since she passed. Mom always wrote in her bible, and I love seeing her handwriting on the pages of God’s word. It makes her still feel close.
But my heart skipped a beat this past Sunday when the pages of my bible landed in Luke, and this is what I saw.
Mom prayed continually for Jonathan’s healing. And even though Jonathan’s hearing has not been restored, God has done an even greater work in his life.
He has filled his voice and heart with songs of praise!
Reading those words that Mom had written years ago touched my heart. She felt so close. I knew that she was rejoicing with me in Heaven as Jonathan sang praises of worship that day!
Isn’t God good?!
We never know what He is going to do in our lives, but you can better believe that is more than we could ever hope for or imagine!
But I want to make one thing very clear…Even if Jonathan lost all of his hearing and if he could never even sing a note, WE WOULD STILL PRAISE HIM!!!
I do not love God because He gives me good things in life, I love Him because HE IS LIFE.
I wanted to share one of the songs Jonathan sang on Sunday. I’m sorry the quality isn’t good, but I wanted you to join me in celebrating this special day.
He sang, “I stand amazed.”
How Marvelous! How Wonderful!
And my song shall ever be!
How Marvelous! How Wonderful!
Is my Savior’s love for me!