Wednesdays with Wanda

January 22, 2014 AT 5:19 pm 71 Comments

Wow.  It feels kind of weird writing the title to this post.  Sadly, many of your probably do not even know why.

I used to write that title on my blog every Wednesday for an entire year.  If you remember me writing my “Wednesday with Wanda” posts, then you have been with me for a looooooong time. Smile

Like 4 years long.

If you were not with me back then, let me explain.

My mom passed away four and a half years ago from Stage 4 gastric cancer.

She was 64 years young, and she only lived 7 weeks after her diagnosis.

We were devastated.

I come from a very close knit family.  My mom was my best friend.

I was only 38 years old when she passed, and my youngest son, Eli, was only 2 years old.

Here are my boys the day of mom’s funeral.

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My mom wasn’t just “any mom.”  She was the best mom a little girl could ever dream of.

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That’s me in the red.  Mom treated us to a shake.

 

She taught me things that were priceless.  She introduced me to Jesus, not just through her words, but through her actions as well.

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She was beautiful, inside and out.

She lived to serve others.  I wish I had her servant heart.

Mom always found the good in everything, always prayed, always believed.

I never, ever once doubted her love for me.  I always knew that my mom was there for me with words of encouragement and lots of hugs!

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Mom with Eli

She was too young when she passed.  She still had so much love to give and life to live. My heart ached every day for her.  My blog was only about 6 months old when mom passed.  She was the one who introduced me to blogs and encouraged me to start one.  I am forever grateful.

To help me deal with her loss, I began writing about my mom every Wednesday.  I wanted a place for my boys to go and someday read about their amazing grandmother because I sadly knew that they would probably not remember her.

I thought that my posts every Wednesday were for my children.  But they actually ended up being more for me because God used them to heal my heart.

The posts I wrote about my mom are hands down my favorite posts I have ever written on my blog.

If you haven’t read any, you can find them in my navigation bar under “Wednesdays with Wanda.”

Some of the posts that mean the most to me are:

*August 28, 2009 Liquid Prayers

*October 6, 2009 Wednesdays with Wanda (Note I found from Mom the day before her funeral.)

*January 6, 2010  Wednesdays with Wanda (It Matters – Part 1)

*January 13, 2010 Wednesdays with Wanda (It Matters – Part 2)

***************************

Now, almost 5 years later, mom is still touching my heart and speaking to me.

This past Sunday was a very special Sunday for us.

Our church is currently without a music minister, and our pastor asked Jonathan to lead the music this past Sunday for the whole service.

That’s a pretty big deal for a 14 year old, ya know?!

Most of the congregation is 3 to 4 times Jonathan’s age, and yet he was so excited about the opportunity.

Just a note to those of you who do not know, my son Jonathan was born with a hearing loss and only has 50% of his hearing in his ears.  He has worn hearing aids since he was 3.

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Mom had a special place in her heart for Jonathan.  He was my firstborn.  We were broke, and Mom was so worried about Jonathan getting everything he needed for his disability.  Since insurance didn’t cover it, Mom paid for Jonathan to go to speech every week for a year when he was about four.  She also helped pay for visits to the audiologist and for his first pair of hearing aids.

Actually, Jonathan was in need of a new pair of hearing aids when mom got sick. The old ones were outdated and not working well.  She had been saving money from each of her paychecks to be able to buy Jonathan some new hearing aids.  When she found out she was dying, she was devastated because she knew she would have to use the money she had saved for Jonathan hearing aids to pay for her own medical bills.  It broke her heart, and she told me she was sorry every time I saw her.

Oh mom, if you only knew.

Mom DID buy Jonathan new hearing aids, she just wasn’t alive to see it.  You can read about that story, HERE.

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It is hard to believe that we worried if Jonathan would even be able to speak when he was born, and now he is singing God’s praises in front of tons of people!!!

So many times, I wish that Mom could see Jonathan up on stage singing now.  She would have been so proud.

On Sunday, I kept thinking, “Mom wouldn’t believe that Jonathan is leading worship!”  She would have been there in the front row to see it all, if she could of.

I am thankful that Dad and Janet were able to be there to see Jonathan sing, though.  It made it extra special. Smile

Jonathan lead the first three worship songs, and then it was time to sit down for the sermon.

The pastor told us to turn to Luke 18 for the scripture reading.

I began flipping to Luke in my bible.  Well, actually it is Mom’s bible.  I’ve carried it to church ever since she passed.  Mom always wrote in her bible, and I love seeing her handwriting on the pages of God’s word.  It makes her still feel close.

But my heart skipped a beat this past Sunday when the pages of my bible landed in Luke, and this is what I saw.

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Mom prayed continually for Jonathan’s healing.  And even though Jonathan’s hearing has not been restored, God has done an even greater work in his life.

He has filled his voice and heart with songs of praise!

Reading those words that Mom had written years ago touched my heart.  She felt so close.  I knew that she was rejoicing with me in Heaven as Jonathan sang praises of worship that day!

Isn’t God good?!

We never know what He is going to do in our lives, but you can better believe that is more than we could ever hope for or imagine!

But I want to make one thing very clear…Even if Jonathan lost all of his hearing and if he could never even sing a note, WE WOULD STILL PRAISE HIM!!!

I do not love God because He gives me good things in life, I love Him because HE IS LIFE.

I wanted to share one of the songs Jonathan sang on Sunday.  I’m sorry the quality isn’t good, but I wanted you to join me in celebrating this special day.

He sang, “I stand amazed.”

 

How Marvelous!  How Wonderful! 

And my song shall ever be!

How Marvelous!  How Wonderful! 

Is my Savior’s love for me!


 






Comments

  1. I cried with you!! You are indeed blessed hun to have a wonderful mom/friend and family! My mom was my best friend too and I miss her everyday. This blog and sharing is a tribute to your mom…HUGS

  2. I meant to tell you, my son has a low decibel hearing loss. Your sons voice is wonderful!!

  3. If you could just see how your mom shines in your own life and words. Every time I visit here, you are lifting up Jesus so clearly. My theology may be faulty, but don’t you just know that your mom could see your sweet son leading the worship on Sunday? It would be so like Jesus to give our loved ones the ability to peek beyond a cloud and see God working in their families. :)

    The words in her Bible reminded me of a blog I did on my own mom, so I’ve included it in case you have a minute.

    http://bitsandpieces-sonja.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-saw-my-name-in-my-mothers-prayer.html

    I loved you blog today!

    Hugs!
    Sonja recently posted..Tea for two…

  4. I am so glad to read wednesdays with wanda again. Your mom is surely smiling down on all of you. Jonathan is amazing. God Bless your sweet family.

  5. Oh Traci! I have chills and tears over you opening your Bible to that scripture and her note at that exact moment. That isn’t a coincidence but a Divine God Wink moment. Hugs to you and Jonathan. What an amazing opportunity for him!

  6. Norma Short says:

    Thanks for sharing, my tears are flowing. God is so good

  7. I was so moved by your story and the wonderful video attached. Inspirational.

  8. Wow, thank you for sharing that! I have goosebumps:)

  9. Traci, I remember your Wednesdays with Wanda, that’s when I first started reading your blog and it was so sweet to see the title of your post today. Your son’s talent is such a wonderful gift and I know he will go on to do great things and reach a lot of people over the years. Thank you for sharing this video and your mom’s words in your bible! It lifted my heart this snowy and grey day.
    Lisa recently posted..Wood Mounted Photo Art

  10. Traci, How precious that gift is from the Lord! Rejoicing with you. God is indeed good all the time!

  11. Anita Hall says:

    Absolutely beautiful! With tears flowing…God bless you and your handsome family. My mom passed at the age of 56 about 4 1/2 yrs ago, and I can relate with you on so many levels. The two moms sound very similar in their personalities and love for God. Thank you for sharing.

  12. Wow! That is no coincidence. Thank you for sharing your story. Glory to God!

  13. Oh my goodness, I am crying…I didn’t start until when I read about your son and how much your mom helped and prayed for him. Such a beautiful tribute and what a lovely video of him playing and singing.

    I recently lost my step-dad and think and pray for my mom every day for her broken heart to be healed. Thank you for sharing.

    PS. I’m stopping by from East Coast Creative, I’m their new blog assistant.
    Diana recently posted..How to Print Instagram Pictures CHEAPLY at any store!

  14. I love this! I hadn’t ever seen your WwW posts before. How special they are and how special your mom was! And you have a very talented son. God truly is marvelous and wonderful, isn’t he?

  15. cathy rice says:

    OH how you made me smile and cry. Beautiful words of God’s amazing love! And thanks I was just stalling because I need to sit down at the piano and choose the music for Cowboy Church tomorrow nite…..I think we shall sing
    I stand amazed and retell your story….Thank you for sharing!Coincidence…..I think not it tis a Godidence!

  16. Kim Franklin says:

    I loved your Wednesday with Wanda posts. I’m so glad you felt her with you. As always, thank you for letting me share a little of your life. Hugs to you.

  17. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I have goosebumps. God truly is wonderful and marvelous.

  18. Sweet Traci I remember Wednesdays with Wanda and all the lively stories you shared. She was a wonderful , godly mom.
    Johnathan is an absolute miracle. To be able to sing so beautifully praises to The Lord. I always enjoy when you share his singing.
    Your mom believed in a mighty God and that sweet prayer written in her bible shows it.
    Sending big (((hugs)) your way.
    Cheryl recently posted..::SAYING GOODBYE::

  19. Tears, tears…thank you for sharing. I initially found your blog because I was searching to read about other people who have lost their mom. Reading about your mom reminds me of mine! What a treasure it is to have a godly mother! I feel like our moms must be friends in heaven actually! Please please keep writing about how the Lord heals your heart and has helped get through this time. I have received so much encouragement from you. Also, your son is incredible! I always listen to the clips you post – what a gift God has given him! God bless you!

  20. Traci,

    What an amazing honor for Jonathan to lead worship Sunday morning! He sounded wonderful and it is so awesome to see how God is using him and his testimony! Thank you for sharing and telling us about your sweet, wonderful and Godly Mama! I wish I could have met her. She exemplified how to live your life to the fullest for Jesus! God is so amazing! How amazing that He arranged for the sermon to be on that day with Jonathan singing! Your Mama would be so proud. I cried as I read this story and went back to re-read most of Wednesdays with Wanda. I am praying many more blessings on you and your family this year. Thank you for blogging! Your blog has been a blessing to me and is my favorite blog to read! If you are ever in Memphis, TN area I would love to meet you! Love your sister in Christ!!!
    Jessica recently posted..Oh 2014!

  21. I’ve only commented a few times on your blog, but Wed with Wanda was when I “came across” your blog. I grabbed on with both hands because at the time my father in law was dying of cancer. (I know an in law isnt the same as your own parent so Im certainly not saying I know how you feel…we were very close, but Im not at all comparing that to losing your mom!) My daughter was born smack in the middle of his cancer with a devastating brain disorder we never saw coming. We were losing Dan and we felt like we had lost our baby girl as well. Dan was the one who was WITH us in praying for Ansley to have LIFE poured out over her sweet brain by our gracious God who is ABLE to heal…all the while knowing that through the unbearable ache that we trusted in his sovereignty should he say no. Im am just bawling my eyes through reading this post as there have been so many similar moments in our journey with our daughter and losing Dan (he passed just shortly before Ansley took her first steps…a miracle drs declared would NEVER be possible for her…praise the Almighty God!) We are in a super tough season with our angel girl, but it doesnt take away all of the wonderful gifts God has granted her that she wouldnt have had without His hand of mercy and power touching her sweet little mind. Thank you for sharing your heart and your life with us. You have such a precious heart and I enjoy so much being witness to your story.

  22. I love, love, love reading about the special, personal things God does for His children. Beautiful story and I’m so glad God showed you a part of your mother’s heart with perfect timing. He is so awesome and so good.
    Thanks for sharing your story!
    Angie recently posted..My Un-Word for the Year

  23. Oh my goodness Traci I enjoyed that story so much. We do serve an awesome God. I can’t wait to share this with my Sunday school class. Thank you sooooo much :)

  24. Traci – I don’t know how you kept it together in church once you read your mothers writing ?? I’m crying just reading it on your blog. It’s absolutely beautiful !! My son is a drummer on our worship team at church. It makes me so happy to see him playing during church. I’m sure you feel the same about Jonathan. He did a great job!! So blessed to read how you share about your mom. God bless , xoxo

  25. Melissa Anderson says:

    This blessed my heart richly! Thank you for sharing this story! I have a son with Autism and I was blessed to hear him sing “”Jesus Saves” @ a school talent show recently….I cried like a baby listening to him practice! Gos is good!

  26. Okie dokie, I am so touched! Your mama did see your baby boy! I just know she was right there on the front row! Thank you for sharing!
    Tara C. recently posted..Today’s Treasures!

  27. L.O.V.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. A few days ago I stumbled across your blog through searching DIY sights (knee deep is adding crown molding for the first time). I immediately loved your sight. But now I know why. :) This post about your son is so precious. I know that your mom was sitting in heaven with Jesus on Sunday – watching and having a good chuckle with Jesus about how she wrote that in her Bible all those years ago. God is so amazing. Thank you so much for sharing.

  29. What a beautiful, touching post. I feel envy at your relationship with your mom – you are so blessed. It’s an amazing testimony of a life when her children “rise up and call her blessed” even after she’s gone on to Heaven.

  30. Traci, I can’t believe it’s been so long. I remember the sweetness and grace you showed when your dear mom passed, and the strength you shared with me when my dad passed. Blessings you to and yours always.
    Claudia recently posted..FML

  31. This was beautiful! May God continue to do more than you can ask or imagine! B

  32. What a beautiful post. I read everyone of your posts “Wednesdays with Wanda” & loved them all….
    What a beautiful woman of Faith..
    Thank you for sharing her, with us.

  33. How marvelous, How wonderful to see your mom’s words written for you that day.

    What a good gift!
    Sharon recently posted..tilapia scaloppine

  34. Praise GOD……..every day and night……..he is he Great I Am
    Your mom will always be with you

    May GOD continue to bless you and your family

  35. Tracy, I read your blog every day but have never commented. This blog made me cry…but tears of joy because of the way God showed Himself to you in such wonderful way…and made your Mom a part of that wonderful day. We have a granddaughter who has a congenital heart defect (her heart does not have a right ventricle). I could tell you incident after incident when we have seen God reveal His presence with her and with us.

  36. One of the most precious things I’ve ever read, ever heard.

  37. Beautiful! What a testimony you and your son have. What may seem like the impossible, God will take and make it possible. I loved your statement “I do not love God because He gives me good things in life, I love Him because HE IS LIFE.” How very true. Thank you for being a blessing.
    Renee Bullock recently posted..Friday Favorites

  38. Traci, this brought tears to my eyes. Yes of course I know every single one of your Wednesdays with Wanda and to hear your son is such a thrill. I am positive she heard him too. God Bless. Hugs, Marty
    Marty@A Stroll Thru Life recently posted..A Trip to Ikea

  39. I remember your Wednesdays with Wanda! They would always touch my heart-I love the way you love your Mom and how you show how much of a wonderful child of God she is. I say “is” because she is with you and your family, every day, every minute. She just shines through you and them now.

  40. thank you so much for sharing. I am currently walking through a valley with unknown health issues for my husband. Your words and Monm inspire and give me hope. blessings!

  41. I have followed your blog since you began the Wednesdays with Wanda series. What a blessing your mother was, and what a gift your son has. Thanks for posting this!

  42. I know Wanda was front and center on Sunday morning. Thank you for your inspirational post!

  43. I enjoy these more personal posts of yours so much. Your son has such a talent and it’s no wonder you are so proud… and your mother sounds like a truly wonderful and loving person. :)
    Brandi @ Nest of Bliss recently posted..10 Awesome Small Bathroom Ideas

  44. What an awesome message! Thank you so much for sharing. The gift of a mother’s love…from above. :)
    Kitty recently posted..Enjoying Time

  45. I knew this would make me cry. Happy tears for you all! Can’t believe it has been so long. I’m not sure when I started following your blog but it was because of Wed. for Wanda. Wonderful posts!

    My sister (62) has been diagnosed with cancer. They think they got it all but she will have tests every 3 months for 5 years before she is at a safe place. We never know the paths our lives will take. We do KNOW that God is there every step we take. How blessed we are!

    Thanks for sharing your story! Don’t you know Heaven was rejoicing to see your son singing Praise to God and leading other in that!
    sondra recently posted..Santa’s a Little Late?

  46. Thank you, thank you, thank you for encouraging us to trust His heart. Thank you!

  47. I was just wondering if you had any more children. Johnathan and Eli are the only ones I ever hear you talk about.

  48. I totally remember Wednesdays with Wanda. I can’t believe it’s been four years. That was back when we were still hoping to adopt, and my baby is two now. They grow so fast.
    I never met your mom, but she reminds me a lot of mine. :)
    Kara recently posted..Comment on Printable Valentine Tag– Kool Aid by Handmade Valentine’s Ideas

  49. What a beautiful story! I feel your pain. Your mom was amazing!
    Shirley recently posted..How To Make Your Own Transfer

  50. I can’t believe how long I have been following your blog! I remember EVERY Wednesday’s With Wanda!! Congratulations to you and your blogging success but even more congratulations on your beautiful family!!

  51. Dear Traci;
    I am reading your blog for the first time and I can’t stop crying. I am very touched by your ability to share and your beautiful sentiments very much inspire me. Thank you Kate

  52. Indeed, how marvelous and wonderful God is! I remember the posts about your Mom. Jonathan has a real talent and yes, your mom was there. That’s why the scripture was used. :) You saw her writing and knew the prayers of her heart.

    xo
    Pat
    Pat recently posted..~ Mod Podge Sheer Colors ~

  53. Such a precious post about an amazing woman and God’s faithfulness, Traci. May He continue to bless you and yours, and to remind you when you need it most of your mama’s faith.
    xoxo, Heidi
    Heidi @ Decor & More recently posted..Drop Leaf Side Table Makeover

  54. Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing your joy as well as your pain. I lost my mother a little over a year ago to Stage IV lung cancer that she survied only about six weeks following her diagnosis. We are so blessed to have wonderful memories of our precious moms!!

  55. You brought me to tears. I can hear in your words the love you have for your Mom and for God. And the way you can see His work in your family and His blessings through heartache and healing….Awesome! God Bless!!
    Laurie recently posted..It’s Been a Long Time Coming

  56. Thank you for this post. It’s so good to be able to share how God works all things together for good for those who love Him. My own Mom is dying of Parkinson’s right now. I just made plane reservations today to go see her for the last time and share the gospel with her one last time. I know your Mom is gone but what a blessing it is to KNOW she is in heaven and to have the godly heritage she passed on to you and you to your family.

  57. Thank you for this post. My Mom was such a hard worker and still had time for all 7 of us kids. Most precious was the love she had for each one of us. She didn’t go to church but she made sure we were dressed and ready to go to church.

    Again Jonathan sang beautiful in praising God.

    God bless

  58. Well, I have sat here and cried like a baby. I have read your blog for years and I remember (and miss!) Wednesdays with Wanda. Your Mom IS so inspiring. What an awesome, gracious God we serve to be able to see and hear your son lead worship. My daughter loves to sing and play the piano. We think she has such a gift but she lacks confidence. When I showed her the video of Jonathan singing Hallelujah, she LOVED it! She has practiced that song a thousand times since and will sing it this Sunday at church … through lots of nervousness :) Please tell your sweet Jonathan that he has inspired my 12 year old Emma to follow through with what she loves. Thank you!!

  59. Jennifer Whitcomb says:

    What a wonderful start to my day! I love how the Lord can touch us through the lives of others, and your life does that for me. Praise our Father for He knows what we need and gives in abundance! Jonathan has a wonderful testimony already..God will surly use him in mighty ways!! Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your blessings with us each week! If we never meet here, I’ll see you in Heaven!

  60. Wow! Loved this post! What a legacy your mom left for you all. You are blessed!

  61. Peggy Born says:

    You were blessed to have such a wonderful mom. I’m sure she was rejoicing in heaven when this was going on. Such a lovely beautiful post. I am an “older” reader and I hope that I can be that kind of mom to my precious daughter and her soon-to-be-born baby girl. Thanks so much for sharing.

  62. Traci, I began following your blog about the time of your Mother’s illness and her death. I have enjoyed your stories more than you know. I too have a Mother that is ill. She is 83 and she sounds so much like your Mom. She has been my rock for my entire life. I can’t even think about her not being here for me to lean on when everything seems to be crashing down! Thanks again for your lovely blog. I look forward to reading it everyday.

  63. Lisa Gillum Crim says:

    Oh Traci…your momma is smiling down from Heaven, that’s for sure! Seeing you guys sitting at that table and for some reason reminded me of how your momma made my birthday cake one year and I thought that was the most beautiful cake I’d ever seen. She was an angel here on earth and taken way too soon. I plan to share this story with my mom, even though I know she will cry worse than I have, but she loved your momma with all of her heart. God bless you for all that you do and I hope you will continue sharing stories of your momma! Love to you and your family.

  64. What a beautiful tribute to your Mom. How hard it must be to have to wait to see her again. And what an awesome declaration that we love God not because he gives us good gifts, but because he first loved us and redeems us! Blessings to you and your family.

  65. Melody Wright says:

    Thank you for sharing your “testimony ” of Gods love for each of us. We truly are blessed and I’m thankful for your reminder. What a blessing to have a mother like you did. As far as I can see, you seem to be just like her. I only know you through your blog, but you have touched my heart to be a better, more grateful person. I can feel your heart through your words and I know your mother would be so proud of who you are! Your sons will always be reminded of your mother as long as they are alive and find those feelings in their hearts. Those boys, I’m sure, adore you just like you adored your mom. And they see YOUR MOM through your eyes. What a blessed family! You are all blessed to have each other in your family circle!

  66. Beautiful, amazing and made me cry as well. Very touching.

  67. Reading your blog and watching your son sing made me miss going to church. I havent been in quite some time.seems that the holy spirit jumped off your blog and has given me a real longing to go back and try again. Thank you.

    • That blesses my heart. I pray that you do visit church again, and may you feel God’s presence and love there. And may you know how much He loves you!
      God bless,
      Traci

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