Five Years Ago Today…
Early in the morning, five years ago today, I held my mom’s hand as she passed from her earthly home to her heavenly home.
Just seven short weeks earlier, we had found out that she had stage 4 gastric cancer and was given six months to a year to live.
During those seven weeks, I experienced a grief and a pain that I had never known in my 38 years of life.
And yet, I experienced God’s love and His blessings to a depth that I had never known in my 38 years of life as well.
Mostly because Mom made sure of it. 
She pointed us to Jesus like never before during those seven weeks. I learned more about what it meant to live a life of faith from her in those seven weeks than I did my whole life. (And believe me, she taught me a LOT then too!)
The day we found out about her diagnosis, she wanted us to take her to the Christian bookstore because she wanted to buy a “Daily Bread Box” for all of her family and extended family. She also bought a book about Heaven.
During those seven weeks, I saw her receive mounds and mounds of letters and cards from people all over the world. And I watched my mom hand write every single one of them back, knowing it would be the last chance for her to ever do so.
I saw her read her bible daily, spend time in prayer, and talk about Jesus constantly.
I saw her show grace to her doctors and nurses as they cared for her.
She kept reminding us to look for God’s blessings during that difficult time. And believe me, they were not hard to find. He is so faithful.
I am forever grateful.
(Mom with Jonathan and Luke at Grandparent’s Day at School.)
The day mom passed away, we stood around her bed and prayed. Mom wasn’t talking very clearly because of the medicine they had given her, but two things I heard very clearly as I stood beside her.
She said, “I see the angels.” And “I can hear HIS voice.”
I knew at that moment that mom was entering into her heavenly home. Oh how I wish I could have seen what she was seeing!
What an indescribable joy to KNOW that my mom is in heaven with Jesus right now!
And I want to share something with you today that I have never shared on my blog. Three years ago, I unexpectantly found out I was pregnant with our fifth child. After the initial shock wore off, we were super excited. I was close to sharing the news on my blog when I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I was devastated, and too raw to share it on my blog.
But the one thing I found comfort in was knowing that my baby was in Heaven with my mom. I could picture mom rocking my child in her arms, taking great care of him/her until I reached heaven one day.
About a month ago, Eli ask Jesus to be the Lord of his life and became a Christian! I was reminded of how my mom would always tell me that the bible said the angels in Heaven would rejoice when someone gave their life to Christ.
I told Eli that the angels were rejoicing in Heaven when he prayed that prayer to receive Christ. And I smiled as I pictured my mom holding hands with the angels, jumping up and down, rejoicing over Eli’s decision.
One of mom’s favorite verses was “I have no greater joy that to hear that my children are walking in the Truth.” 3 John 1:4
(Mom and Dad with Courtney, Cory, Jonathan, Luke, and Adam.)
Mom shared the love of Jesus with her children and her grandchildren, and what a legacy she has left behind!!! All of her children and grandchildren have accepted Christ into their hearts, and will one day be in Heaven with her.
Mom has been gone five years, and I cannot hardly believe it. Life keeps moving on. The world keeps spinning. My boys keep growing.
And Mom’s love keeps guiding us. She is still such a big part of my life. I do so many things now that remind me of my mom. I still hear words of wisdom and faith in my heart.
Her body may be gone from this earth, but her influence in our lives is still very present.
It is such an encouragement to me as a mom. I know that all of the time and energy that I put into my boys to raise them in the Love of Christ is not in vain. I know that someday when I am gone, that love will remain.
Today, my heart aches as I think about my mom and how much I miss her.
But my heart also rejoices in the fact that I will see my mom again!
And I am so very grateful to GOD for my precious mother. What an honor it was to be her daughter.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, JESUS!
Such a difficult day, I know. It is so wonderful for those of us who had incredible moms. So blessed while they are here and for all the gifts they gave us (and continue to give). But so hard to know that the person who loved us like no one else can is not there to turn to every day. Thinking of you and sending hugs.
Such a beautiful tribute to your mom.
Hugs to you from Frankfort. What a beautiful tribute to your Momma! I love the verse that you shared. Everytime I hear my 9 year old daughter singing songs in the car that are on K-Love and when I hear her talking to her friends about God and Jesus, my heart swells!!
Thank you for sharing about your precious mother. I feel like I know you and her just from reading your blog (which I love!). It is hard to lose your mom, but I love how your faith has been strengthened because of it. You and your family are a great inspiration!
Thank you for sharing. This is an absolutely beautiful tribute to your mom and Jesus. I cried. I too miscarried and feel like Jesus lead me to read your page for comfort because I stuffed all those feelings deep down.
God bless
Thanks for sharing. Anniversaries are always so tough, but there is such light there too. I feel great comfort in near death stories like your moms, and it just makes my faith even stronger.
This is beautiful! Rejoicing with you over little Eli and our Hope!
After reading your blog (and sharing it with several friends and family) over the past few years, I feel like I was friends with your mom. What a beautiful tribute you have written on the 5th anniversary of her death. My mom has just been gone 18 months and I still miss her so much but I’m also happy that she’s with my dad (he died 24 years before she did) where she had wanted to be so badly for many years. God bless you, Traci, and give you peace today.
I feel for you! I truly do. Wednesday is the fourth anniversary of my mom’s death. I am eternally thankful that I WILL see her again one day.
renee
Praying for you Traci and your sister. Thank you for sharing about your mom, her faith, and your love for Jesus. I too share in that blessed hope that we have, thank you Jesus. We will see them again, hallelujah, thank you Lord.
My thoughts and prayers are with you today as you remember your mom! What a blessing to know you will see her again.
Praying for you and your family today! Love you lots! Thank you for sharing about your sweet and Godly Mama!!!
By the date at the end of your story of your Mother, I see that she was a little over a year older than I am. She was fortunate to have you as her daughter. I have two beautiful daughters that I am proud of too. I understand your missing your Mother. I lost mine almost 6 years ago. She was my best friend and I loved her dearly. Keep God close to your heart because only then will you feel the comfort He provides. You are in my prayers! God bless and keep you today and always…Jeri
Traci
Thank you for sharing about your mom today. My husband died two weeks ago – unexpected and a shock to all. He was a young 63 years of age.
I love your mom’s words, “I see the angels…I hear His voice.” That ministers to me tonight. My husband was a godly man and now enjoys his new glorified body in the presence of the One he gave his life to as a child. I think about him, too, greeting loved ones who went to Heaven before him.
This is hard, but I am so grateful for the hope of eternal life!
Praying you will be flooded with sweet memories today as you honor and remember your mom.
What a beautiful testimony of pure love for your Mother as well as our heavenly father. thirty six years ago today I lost my Daddy, one minute he was here the next he was gone..he had just turned 56, gone way to soon..everyday I know he is with me and now my sweet Momma is with him …God is so good and his blessings many !!! Thank you for sharing !!!
Praying for you, Sharon, in your so recent loss of your husband. My heart goes out to you. So thankful you know you will see your each other again. Sending you hugs from a sister in Christ.
Traci, I love the thought of your mom, rocking the beautiful child that you lost. I also believe she is watching over you, your husband and your sons and is experiencing only joy at what she sees. You are such a living legacy of everything that your mother taught and lived; how she must rejoice at your life! This is a beautiful tribute to motherhood, to our Savior, and to the enduring strength of family. Thank you!
Beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing your heart with us. Just what I needed to read tonight.
Traci, knowing that your mom was able to verbalize seeing angels and hearing God’s voice as she entered heaven really ministers to me. It’s been two years since my mom died but I am still struggling. She was a strong believer like your mom and I am so grateful to know she’s with the Lord but because she died so suddenly, it has been really hard for me to wrap my mind around.
Sharon, I am so sorry for your sudden loss of your husband. Losing someone in an instant is the most traumatic thing I’ve ever lived through, and I will pray for you during this time of aftershocks. No words can describe the pain you’re living through but keep clinging to our Savior!
<3 Tears!
That was so beautiful! Teary for sure. I lost my momma 9 years ago and miss her so very much! She left such a void in my life. Thank you for sharing:)
Thank you for sharing something so personal wirh us. What a beautiful testimony. May the Lord continue to bless you.
Traci, once again your story brings me to tears. I am so sorry for your physical loss, both of your beloved mother and also for the baby that is now in heaven with her. How blessed you are to have these wonderful, cherished memories! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers tonight.
Beautiful words!
Dear sister in Christ. I’m thrilled to hear you give Christ glory & that your mother trusted Christ as her Savior. At the same time my heart is heavy & the tears come. I have been in the same spot only with my sweet daddy who has been in heaven 14 years. He was a strong Christian & suffered greatly before dying. I struggle sometimes to remember the good times & not focus on the last hours of his life. One thing, he actually had a smile on his face at the end. I think it was his last message to us that he is with Jesus. To God be the glory!
“Today, my heart aches as I think about my mom and how much I miss her.
But my heart also rejoices in the fact that I will see my mom again!
And I am so very grateful to GOD for my precious mother. What an honor it was to be her daughter.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, JESUS!”
Oh Traci – I cry with you having lost my precious 92 year old mom on May 2nd, 2014. These thoughts of yours speak my heart’s feelings that I have for my mom. Life is just so short. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish for her to be back here again. I want to call her every day, drive over to see here etc etc. I am also thankful that my mom taught me about the love of Christ. My dad passed 12 years ago and it has been so hard as I was the youngest of 4 and the only girl. I could go on, but I know you understand. Our moms are rejoicing being in heaven. It doesn’t make it easy on us here, but it does give us that comfort of knowing we will see them again one day.
I am so sorry for your loss of your child as well. I can’t imagine what that is like, since I have never had children and unfortunately was never able to get pregnant. I do think I understand that emptiness of wanting that little one and not being able to conceive. But God is faithful and He has held my hand and heart during the rough times. I may not understand the whys of it all, but I do trust in Him.
Your blog has been a blessing to me and if I never get to meet you this side of Heaven, when we all get to Heaven what a day of rejoicing that will be!!!
Keeping you in my heart and prayers tonight.
Marilyn C.
I pray we get to meet someday this side of heaven! :) You are a blessing to me!
Dear Traci, this beautiful post so touched me. You and Cyndi have been in my thoughts and prayers on this poignant day. I’m so grateful you have the precious gift of your mom’s last words that bring comfort to others even today.
I’m sending hugs to you over the loss of your darling baby…I can so relate. I was so sorry to learn you had gone through that.
Thanks for sharing about Eli’s decision for Christ. How wonderful, and I rejoice with you and your mom.
Oh, what a glorious reunion we will enjoy with our loved ones someday!
Beautiful.
I’m sorry about the loss of your baby. : /
Thanks for sharing with us.
God Bless you my precious friend…You look so much like your Mom and I know how much you miss her…Death is something we never really get over…There is always a void left in our hearts & lives but Praise Our Wonderful Lord and Savior we have the Joy in Our Heart of knowing we will be reunited with Our Loved Ones some sweet & glorious day…..To God Be The Glory….I Love you…
Such a beautiful tribute to your mom, Traci… but the best tribute is the example and encouragement you and Cyndi are to women all over the world. Bless you, sweet sister, and thank you Jesus!!
xo Heidi
Dearest Traci, and THIS is why I read your blog. You are ever lovely and gracious.
Thank you so much, Dawn! :) Blessings to you!
I was 18 when my Mother went to be with Her Lord and savior, now 55 years later, I still miss her. God has been so good to give us a blessed hope to see our loved ones again…. You my dear seem so much like your momma, what a tribute… Loving you Sweetie.
As a Mom and sister in Christ, I am jumping for joy in CT over Eli’s decision :) The knowledge that I will see my Mom and Dad again is what gets me through those tough times when I miss them sharply. Jesus’ blessings and peace to you, Traci.
I am so sorry for your loss. I feel for you, as I too, lost my mom over four years ago. It truly is one of the hardest things to experience. I am so glad that you find comfort because of Him thru this time.
You share your heart and thoughts so beautifully! Thank you!! Sending you hugs from Illinois.
What a beautiful tribute to your Mom. What a wonderful, Godly woman with a wonderful Legacy! Hugs and prayer to you and Cyndi (and the rest of your families). May we all be able to leave legacies like this behind for our loved ones!
Blessings – Lisa
Peace and blessings to you. May your mom’s teachings and memories raise your spirits today and every day.
My heart is breaking for you and your family. When my mom died I focused on all the years ahead that I’d be without her, but, in fact, she’s been with me always, helping and guiding me. I still miss her everyday and it’s been 28yrs. Unbelievable how quickly that passed. I could write forever about her and all that passed with her illness and death.
Take comfort in her life and what she strove to teach with her death. My prayers are with you.
What a beautiful tribute! May you find comfort in the joy you just brought to so many by sharing this!
Traci,
I’m sending a huge hug to you and your sister and children., I know so well that emptiness but also rejoice in Gods Grace and his sons sacrifice., yes, your mom was rejoicing for Eli,. I’m sure of it. And like a precious grandmother, I know she’s with that adorable baby spoiling him/her until it’s your turn. What a day that will be!.
Your in my thoughts and prayers as well,.
Your one of the most sweet and sincere bloggers I know. Continue your work., you lift people and may not even realize it., we enjoy your home blog but also your sweet kind words of encouragement too.,
God bless you today.
Lovely and heartwarming. I know your Mom is very proud of you.
Tracey, I have followed you for a very long time and enjoy reading stories about you mom. I can only imagine the smile she has looking down at you and seeing what a beautiful daughter she has not only on the outside but inside as well. Your mom is your guardian angel. Doesn’t make the pain of losing her easier but maybe it gives some comfort knowing she is there with you ever minute of the day.
Thank you so much, Lea!
I love you like crazy, dear friend and I am so thrilled to hear that Eli is following Jesus!!!!
Thank you, Tracey! Are you going to Allume this year? Cyndi and I will be there!!! would love to see you!
Oh, I wish I was going! Can I come as your and Cyndi’s assistant? :) Since we moved to Colorado it’s not as easy to get back East for a weekend trip. But living near the mountains is worth it!
I am just reading your post today on the 24th and am praying for you and your nice family.
I can’t believe how long I have been reading your blog!
Kelly