Today, I am just going to get real and honest with you. I want to tell you where I am at in my life. Not sure why. Just do.
This past summer has been a whirlwind. Actually, it feels like the whole past year has been a whirlwind. I’m not one for sitting still or slowing things down. I usually like to go a hundred miles an hour. That would usually be a very good and productive thing, unless you are going 100 miles an hour in a million different directions.
I’m a lot like my mom. I am starting to see so much of her in me as I grow older. I pray that I have gotten most of her good qualities, but I have picked up a few not-so-good ones as well.
Like procrastinating. My mom always waited until the last minute to do things.
Yep. Me too.
She also always had too many irons in the fire.
Yep. Me again.
Mom often seemed scattered and a little disorganized, but it is what we loved about her. She was always cracking us up with how she would go about doing things. One thing is for sure, she always knocked it out of the park! She was amazing!
After our little girl flew back home, I felt an extreme longing to get my life in order and most importantly, spend time with God. We have some crazy exciting things coming our family’s way this year, and it can be a little overwhelming. I want to prepare my heart, home, and mind for these exciting changes. Just saying an occasional prayer is not going to cut it. I need to saturate myself in God’s Word.
Unfortunately, I am more of a “pray-er” than a bible reader. Yet, I know that there are riches untold in God’s word, and I have been longing to hear from Him.
There are several areas of my life that I am struggling the most in right now:
1. My weight.
2. My blog/job commitments.
3. My time with God.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and I have decided that my struggles all boil down to one word…
I don’t have it. Not a lick.
I am not disciplined in my eating habits, which is why I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my life (minus my pregnancies.) I am about 40 pounds over my healthy weight range. And it is because I have no discipline. I am a stress and emotional eater. And it doesn’t help that my metabolism has come to a screeching halt since I hit 40. ugh.
I am also not disciplined in exercising. I used to exercise almost daily and would run a lot. Not now. It has been for-e-va since I have worked out consistently. In my defense, I have scoliosis and suffer from chronic back pain, which doesn’t make exercising fun. BUT if I could strengthen my core, it would help with my back issues. It is like a vicious cycle.
The quote below made me laugh….
What I want MOST is to be healthy, but what I want NOW is a large coke from McDonald’s and a tub of cookie dough. (Not kidding.) IF I were disciplined, I would choose want I want most over what I want now. See what I mean?
The next quote reminds me of my blog/job commitments. Over the past six years, my blog has turned into a business and has provided an income for my family. I have a ton of goals with my blog. I am a dreamer, and I dream about doing things, BIG things with my blog. Dreams I would feel stupid saying out loud on my blog. My mind goes a million different directions with my blog, because truthfully, in this online world, it is possible to go a million different directions.
But GOALS without DISCIPLINE get me nowhere. Discipline is the bridge between my goals and my accomplishments. If I am not disciplined, I’ll never get anything accomplished.
So that is why I got an office away from home. Do you even remember me talking about it? I shared it with you this past spring, but then I had to kind of drop that project because of everything else we had going on this summer. Next week, I am going to start focusing on getting that office space together so I have a place to go and FOCUS and hopefully be DISCIPLINED.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t work good from home. I am so distracted by the piles of laundry, the dirty dishes, the tv, and the couch (it calls my name everyday for a nap.) :)
So I work best when I leave the house and work somewhere else. I go to McDonald’s, Panera, or a local pizza place I love to work on my computer. I knock out so much work when I go somewhere else to get it done. Thus, that is why I am getting an office space away from home. It is my prayer that it will help me to set a work schedule and be more disciplined with my time.
I feel like an octopus on roller skates most of the time, do you? I believe that God has given me talents that He wants me to use to the fullest, but I am rolling around on roller skates in all kinds of directions. I want to hone in on my talents and do WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO WHEN HE WANTS ME TO DO IT.
That’s why I need to be disciplined in the time I spend in His presence. I am truly yearning for that right now. I need to hear His voice clearly. Life is so precious, and I do not want to waste it on frivolous things or things that are unimportant for the kingdom. His kingdom. I want to focus on what matters most….which is undeniably HIM.
So there you have it. I’ve confessed my guts out to you today. If you are still reading this post….BLESS YOU. ;)
I want to always be real with my readers. I want you to know that I do not have it all together. It is important for you to know what I am struggling with and what I am focusing on this coming year.
You may be hearing a little more of it on my blog in the coming months. My attempts to be more disciplined. I will still be blogging about my DIY life because that is the only life I know to live. ha! But I am hoping to through in a few healthy recipes or posts about a healthy lifestyle.
And I want to show more of my heart on my blog. More of what matters most to me. Thank you for letting me.
It is such an honor to walk through life with you!
Do you have an area of your life in which you struggle?