That explains it.
No other word could touch how I felt reading your comments on my Wednesdays with Wanda (WwW) post last week.
Okay, and loved.
I wrote to you about next Wednesday, September 22nd, being the last WwW post that I write. It’s also the one year anniversary of my mom’s passing.
I asked for your advice, and you gave it.
Most of you encouraged me to do what I feel is best for me. Thank you.
Some of you thought I should post once a month or whenever the Lord laid something on my heart to write about Mom. Thank you.
Many of you shared the impact that my posts about Mom have made on your life and asked me to keep writing about Mom each week. Thank you.
Thank you for taking the time to leave me a comment.
Thank you for the love I felt reading them.
Thank you for confirming in my life that God has used this little blog and my mom’s precious life to touch the lives of others.
It is exactly what my heart needed to heal.
I didn’t know why I started Wednesdays with Wanda a year ago. I just had to.
But as I think back over this year, and the privilege I have had to write about my mom’s life each week, I see God’s hand working in my life and in my heart.
Each post I have written and every comment you have left have been little “band aids” on my hurting heart. And my heart is beating stronger now.
Is it completely healed? No. But it sure is looking a whole lot better than it did a year ago.
I needed to share my mother’s love, because she just had so much of it to give away. And I felt she was cut short of the chance to give it away and touch others. And I didn’t understand why God would do that? Why would He allow one of His most faithful and true workers to be taken from this earth too soon? Not to mention the fact that I still needed her. And her husband needed her. And her grandkids needed her.
And then I hear Mom saying, when she found out she had cancer last year, “I don’t understand God, but I trust Him.”
Mom trusted Him. (And this little girl was watching her.)
And she taught me that I can trust Him. And I do.
I trust Him with my fears, my heartaches, my life.
And let me make it clear that it is much easier for me to write those words than to actually believe and practice them. It’s a daily battle. A choice I must make everyday…TRUST.
But that is the person I want to be. The person I will always strive to be.
One of Mom’s favorite quotes that she had written in one of her bibles was by John Newton (the author of “Amazing Grace”)…“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.”
One thing I have definitely learned this past year is that life is a struggle. It’s hard. It hurts.
It makes me yearn for heaven and home where…“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4
So what do I do until then? What do we do?
Look for God’s blessings in the midst of our struggles. They are there, friends. Look hard, you will see them. Don’t stop looking until you do! Pray and ask God to open your eyes so you can see them.
Do you remember the old hymn “Count your blessings”? Mom used to sing that all the time when I was growing up. It seems she would always sing it most when we were having a bad day or upset about something. I can still hear her sweet voice singing, a little off-key…
When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.
When you look at other with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings – wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
Isn’t it crazy to think that during the most difficult year of my life, I have also felt the most blessed?!
Because my heart is forever changed.
Mom taught me to trust God, to look for His blessings, and receive the peace that only He can give.
“Mom, I was watching. I always wanted to be just like you. Thank you for your sacrifices. Thank you for your faithfulness to God. Thank you for the Godly example you set in life and death. Thank you for your precious love. This little girl will never be the same. Love you, love you, love you!”
Your “Magic Link”