Thank You – What I’ve Learned {Wednesdays with Wanda}

Humbled.

That explains it.

No other word could touch how  I felt reading your comments on my Wednesdays with Wanda (WwW) post last week.

Except, blessed.

No, grateful.

Okay, and loved.

I wrote to you about next Wednesday, September 22nd, being the last  WwW post that I write.  It’s also the one year anniversary of my mom’s passing.

I asked for your advice, and you gave it.

Most of you encouraged me to do what I feel is best for me.  Thank you.

Some of you thought I should post once a month or whenever the Lord laid something on my heart to write about Mom.  Thank you.

Many of you shared the impact that my posts about Mom have made on your life and asked me to keep writing about Mom each week.  Thank you.

Thank you for taking the time to leave me a comment.

Thank you for the love I felt reading them.

Thank you for confirming in my life that God has used this little blog and my mom’s precious life to touch the lives of others.

It is exactly what my heart needed to heal.

I didn’t know why I started Wednesdays with Wanda a year ago. I just had to.

But as I think back over this year, and the privilege I have had to write about my mom’s life each week, I see God’s hand working in my life and in my heart.

Each post I have written and every comment you have left have been little “band aids” on my hurting heart.  And my heart is beating stronger now.

Is it completely healed?  No.  But it sure is looking a whole lot better than it did a year ago.

I needed to share my mother’s love, because she just had so much of it to give away.  And I felt she was cut short of the chance to give it away and touch others.  And I didn’t understand why God would do that?  Why would He allow one of His most faithful and true workers to be taken from this earth too soon?  Not to mention the fact that I still needed her.  And her husband needed her.  And her grandkids needed her.

And then I hear Mom saying, when she found out she had cancer last year, “I don’t understand God, but I trust Him.”

Mom trusted Him.  (And this little girl was watching her.)

And she taught me that I can trust Him.  And I do.

I trust Him with my fears, my heartaches, my life.

And let me make it clear that it is much easier for me to write those words than to actually believe and practice them.  It’s a daily battle.  A choice I must make everyday…TRUST.

But that is the person I want to be.  The person I will always strive to be.

One of Mom’s favorite quotes that she had written in one of her bibles was by John Newton (the author of “Amazing Grace”)…“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.”

One thing I have definitely learned this past year is that life is a struggle.  It’s hard.  It hurts.

It makes me yearn for heaven and home  where…“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

So what do I do until then?  What do we do?

Look for God’s blessings in the midst of our struggles.  They are there, friends.  Look hard, you will see them.  Don’t stop looking until you do!  Pray and ask God to open your eyes so you can see them.

Do you remember the old hymn “Count your blessings”?  Mom used to sing that all the time when I was growing up.  It seems she would always sing it most when we were having a bad day or upset about something.  I can still hear her sweet voice singing, a little off-key…

When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

 

Refrain:

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Count your blessings, see what God hath done!

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.

 

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,

And you will keep singing as the days go by.

 

When you look at other with their lands and gold,

Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;

Count your many blessings – wealth can never buy

Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

 

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,

Do not be discouraged, God is over all;

Count your many blessings, angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

 

Isn’t it crazy to think that during the most difficult year of my life, I have also felt the most blessed?!

Why?

Because my heart is forever changed.

Mom taught me to trust God, to look for His blessings, and receive the peace that only He can give.

“Mom, I was watching.  I always wanted to be just like you.  Thank you for your sacrifices.  Thank you for your faithfulness to God.  Thank you for the Godly example you set in life and death.  Thank you for your precious love.  This little girl will never be the same.  Love you, love you, love you!”

Your “Magic Link”

 

 

 

 

 

20 Comments

  1. Traci,
    You’re not gonna believe this, but I was singing this song Monday while I was mowing the grass! It’s one of my favorites, too. Granted, I don’t know all the verses and usually just sing the chorus, but it it a “pick me up” song! I’ve had several heart tests lately and had a cardiolite heart stress test yesterday and I think I’m fine, so I’m counting my blessings today! Our sweet Wanda has forever changed this little sister, too! Love you, Love you, Love you, Aunt Pat

  2. I love your Wednesday posts about your momma!! I love them so much because your mom reminds so much of mine, who too was taken to Heaven way too soon!! My mom passed away at 49 and my husband’s mom too passed at 60, both women were the Godliest women I knew. My pastor made a comment once about them being rewarded by the Lord. They’re were taken from this hard and difficult world to heaven, home, where it’s perfect and peaceful! I found such comfort in that!

    You will be in my prayer as I know how difficult the anniversary can be, especially the first!!

    Hugs!!!

  3. Hi Traci, :-)

    Thank you for having this blog, every day I come to work I check your blog and this morning I really love what you wrote today. You are amazing and a blessing, thank you again!!! Your blog and Klove radio station are so wonderful.

    Blessings,
    Kathy in TEXAS :-)

  4. This is a wonderful post, Traci! What a wonderful, glorious tribute not just to your mom, not just to the Lord, but to all that God is doing each day. I am proud to know you and to be able to see what He is doing in you and through you!

    I found myself singing the alto line as I read those so-familiar lyrics. And I needed them today! Thank you!

  5. Traci, This has been a very hard week for me. Thank you so much for reminding me that there will be a day with no more tears, no more pain and no more fears. There will be a day when the burdens of this will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face. I love you, friend.

  6. Another beautiful post that has brought tears to my eyes.
    Your post’s always seem to say something that I need to hear, thank you so much.

    xx

  7. Just sharing what came to mind as I read your post. “God is too wise to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind, so when you don’t understand, when you don’t see His plan, when you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.” Only one verse of that great song, “When you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart”. If you’ve never heard it, I recommend googling the other lyrics.
    IN HIM,
    Karen

  8. Traci,
    I loved this post. I truly believe that God works thru others and your posts about your mother and sharing her faith are a way of witnessing. You could be touching people you’re not even aware of; bringing them to faith or strengthening their relationship with God. The quote and the hymn are lovely and it brings such joy to be uplifted by your posts!

    Nancy

  9. Hello, sister. It has been a little while since I’ve visited and right now, I can’t recall why that would have been. Traci, I still miss my mom every day. And, yes, life is a struggle. And, we do have hope. I absolutely love that quote!!

    Here, I am, working on the third year without my mom and I was just talking with The Lord while driving today about how I still can’t seem to find my place, inside myself. I know who I am, in Him…who I am, as a wife, a mother and to everyone else. Somehow, I feel that there is a part of me that left when she did and I can’t seem to find that part of me. I’m hoping that it’s not a part of growing up. I don’t want to.

    Your post blessed me today, Traci.

    {{hugs}}

  10. Traci, thank you so much for sharing. I will only know your mom in heaven, and look forward to meeting her. So much of what you share about her, I can see in you. She is a blessed mom to have you 3 beautiful kids, and I’m sure your daddy is so proud. Your life is a legacy, her life was a legacy, you will now be able to make sure your children’s lives follow that same path.

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us. God bless you in all that you do.

    Susi

  11. Thanks for pouring your heart out and sharing quotes and scripture. I found myself singing that lovely, old hymn. We are all truly blessed because we are God’s chosen children! I’m sorry about the loss of your mother and if it helps to talk about her, you should do just that. You can carry on her legacy by being the awesome mother to your children, that she was to you and your siblings. This was the first time I read your blog and I really enjoyed it. I can be sort of a Blog Snob (not proud of that) but yours was delightful!

  12. Sweet Traci,
    Thanks for being so transparent and sharing what’s on your heart. Your momma may be in her heavenly home with the Lord, but she is still doing HIS work here through you. You are sharing her love…the love that she had so much to give to everyone you come in contact with.

    Hugs,
    Cheryl

  13. Traci, I’ve so enjoyed your posts because it reminds me so much of my Mama. And our talks and tears shared. I’m proud of you what you’ve done the last year – what an incredible journey and journal and testimony of your Mother’s faith. You are a wonderful person and I’m so happy we’ve been able to meet. Love, Sandy

  14. Traci, God’s richest blessings to you.
    Keep writing and praying.
    God will get you through this.
    This I believe. He has a plan for us. It’s a good one.
    I have to remind myself of His promises and His counsel.
    d

  15. Traci, I have been reading your Wednesdays with Wanda for a few months, and I think you are more like your mom than you think. You have such strength, and you have been an example to others that are going through the same pain as you are.

    I know what it is like to have to trust God with your mom’s life. I almost lost mine when I was 20 years old. I remember praying that I really needed her (she was all I had besides my sister) but I trusted in God more than anything and I knew that He knew what He was doing. It makes me tear up just thinking about it. Praise the Lord, He did heal her! But I learned that He does have a plan and above everything else, His plan is for good and not harm. It’s so hard to see that when you go through something like that. He truly does love us though. I am so glad you are able to heal through sharing your mom’s story! She sounds like she was an incredible lady!

    God bless you,
    Jessica

  16. Traci, I told my husband the same thing, i will never be the same GIRL without MOM but I will take day by day God.. Love you. Kat Ward

  17. Traci, today has been one ot the worst since I found out my precious husband has terminal cancer. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and love for you mom. It has blessed me and today especially blest my heart. I will count my blessings. Eventhough we have been through some difficult days. I have felt the prayers of family and friends. Thanks for sharing today. It brought joy to my heart. Love you so much! Aunt Donna

  18. Hey Traci,
    Just wanted to tell you that I happened upon your post this morning by chance, well….probably not. I’ve never visited your site before, just doing some random clicking around Blogland. We lost my grandmother a few months ago, and my mom is having a very hard time. I think God sent me to your Blog this morning so that I could share your encouraging story with MY mom. Thank you for letting your heart be open enough to share with us. I know God had a big plan for this post. Lots of love from Mississippi…

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