My Dad is Getting Married!

Wow! I never thought I would hear myself saying those words.

I have thought about the reaction of my readers to the title this post.

Some of my readers  probably didn’t even click on it.

Others may have clicked on this post out of curiosity.

And then there are those of you who were shocked when you saw the title.

You are the readers who have been with me the past two years. The ones who prayed for my mom when she got sick. The ones who cried with me when you heard she died. And the ones who met me here on my blog every week for my “Wednesdays with Wanda” posts last year.   You heard the pain in my words.  You felt the sadness in my heart.  Over time, you have begun to see God heal my hurts through His love and your words of encouragement.  And you have witnessed the power of a mother’s love in her daughter’s life.

I think of Mom everyday.  But God has replaced my sadness with hope.  He has filled my heart with so much love for my family and my life.  I am determined to love my boys with the same love my mom gave me, (or as close as I can get to it.)   :)

And now I have entered a new chapter…

My dad is getting married.

I always thought that my dad remarrying would kill me.

But God in His overwhelming goodness has placed in my dad’s life an amazing Godly woman to love him.

How can I be upset about that?

My precious children’s minister at church, Joyce, lost her mom when she was in her 30’s as well.  She knew what I was going through when Mom was sick and dying.  She gave me such words of encouragement and strength during that time.  One thing she told me was that my dad would remarry.  WHAT!?  How could she say that?

Her dad had remarried too, and she knew the heartache that can come with it, and she wanted to lovingly prepare me if my dad were to remarry.

I remember telling her, “Joyce, it’s not about when or if my dad remarries, it’s WHO.”

And I meant that.

Well, let me tell you WHO he is marrying. Janet is one of the most precious women I have ever met.  Honestly, she reminds me so much of my mom in so many ways.  Which can be hard because it makes me miss my mom even more.  But then I stand in amazement of how great God is to place someone in our lives that is so much like our mom.

Janet is kind.  She is Godly.  She loves my boys!  She is always smiling.  She is fun.  She loves my dad!  She loves family.

And she knew of my mom.  She has been friends many years with my mom’s sister, Nancy.  She knew of Mom’s love for Jesus and the lives she had touched with His love.  She loves hearing stories and memories of my mom.  She wants us to talk of her often.  She wants my children to remember her.  She doesn’t want to replace my mom.  She wants to honor her.

I believe that Janet is an answer to our prayers.  And an answer to my mom’s prayers.

There is not a single doubt in my mind that Mom had prayed many prayers on this earth in her lifetime for God to take care of my dad and her children.  I know she prayed that if anything ever happened to her, that God would place a Godly woman in his life to love him.  I pray that about my own sweet husband.  If something were to happen to me now, I pray that God would someday place someone special in his life to love him and care for our boys.

But I also pray that I get to grow old with my husband, as I know that my mom did too (I saw those exact words written in one of her prayer journals.)   She wanted many more years on this earth with my dad.  They had been married 44 wonderful years, and they honored the words they spoke on their wedding day, “til death do us part.” I know that as my mom faced death, she once again prayed that God would take care of my Dad.  I remember having a conversation with her a few weeks before she passed away, and with tears in her eyes she told me that she trusted God to take care of us.  She said she wanted to watch us grow, especially her grandchildren…and then I heard her say again, “But I trust Him.” She trusted God with all her heart.  She knew that God would take care of us.

The past two years have been hard on my dad.  He has seemed lost without mom.  He has been living with my sister and her husband which was such a blessing.  But Dad was lonely.  This past winter was especially hard on him.  It was hard for us to watch him be so depressed.  My Dad has a HUGE heart, and he loves his family so much.  Family is everything to him.  He has so much love to share, and  now the Lord has given him someone to share his life with.

I wish you could be here with me to see how happy my dad is.  He is like a new person.  He smiles constantly, and I feel like I have my dad back.

How can I be sad?

Do I miss mom?

Yes, more than ever.

The first time I met Janet was at my sister’s house. We got together as a family to meet her.  The evening was wonderful, and I was so impressed with Dad’s  choice in Janet.

But the whole 30 minute drive home, I cried.  That night, I cried myself to sleep.  I wanted MY mom!!!

Yet there was a feeling that God was doing something great in my dad’s life.

The second time I saw Janet, I gave her a hug when she and Dad walked in the room.  As I hugged her, I felt something well up inside me.  It started in my stomach, came up my chest, into my throat, and was headed out my eyes.  I quietly walked to the bathroom, closed the door, and began to sob.  I cried and cried.  Oh, I missed my mom!

Dad and Janet didn’t know I had been crying.  I refreshed my makeup once I got it together.  :)

But that night when I got home, I thought about why hugging Janet made me cry?  And then I realized…it felt good to feel a mother’s hug. I’ve missed my mom’s hugs so much!

Then I felt guilty.

Would I hurt Mom’s feelings if she knew I enjoyed my hug from Janet?

I knew the answer immediately…NO.

“No,” my mom would say.

If anything, I can hear my mom saying to Janet, “Hug her real tight, Janet.  She needs to feel a mother’s love.”

Mom had that kind of selfless love.

Honestly, I kind of feel like Mom handpicked Janet for my dad.  She was probably on her knees before God’s throne saying, “Lord, Doug deserves the best.  Give him someone who loves You.  Give him someone who will make him happy and love my children. ”  and…“Could I suggest Janet, Lord?” :)

That thought just makes me smile!

So in a few weeks, my Dad will be married, I will have  a step-mom, and my children will have a step-grandmother.  And there will still be sad moments to work through.  And things to get used to.

But I am praising my Father in Heaven for the love He has shown my family through all of this.

Life is so short.  I don’t want to waste my time questioning why things like this happen in our lives.

So I will choose to embrace these moments.

More than anything in this world, I want my dad to be happy.  Having him remarry may make me uncomfortable at times, but I want him to be happy more than I want to be comfortable.

Above all, I trust God.


I just had to share this news with YOU, my readers.

Thank you for walking this journey with me.







  1. Oh I am crying tears of joy for you and your dad!! God is so good
    this reminds me in a small of the Karen Kingsbury series of the Baxter family
    have a wonderful day dear Traci

  2. oh Traci, I am so happy for your family to have this dear new person. I often feel my father’s spirit still guiding me and my boys and I am certain your precious mother is doing the same. Blessings to you all, my dear friend.

  3. Traci, you are embarking on another new and wonderful journey, courtesy of our great Lord and Saviour. One can only imagine at times like this, what is in store for us next. I have “been there, done that” with this same situation – losing Dad, not Mom. You are blessed, and your children will be the ones who reap the greatest reward. And, to those who didn’t “click” because of the title? Well, you are better off without them anyway! Have a blessed weekend, and enjoy! Sandi

  4. Traci,
    Wow, what a beautifully presented story…I am crying tears of joy for your Dad, tears for your wonderful faith in God and tears for the loss of my own Dad 10 years ago and my Mom’s loneliness since he’s been gone. She, too, needs a friend and companion, but God has not sent that person her way…you can never replace the person you lose and these blessed people who come into their lives are not trying to replace them. They just want to make the person happy and provide companionship…and sounds like Janet is going to love all of you “for your Mom”! You should submit this story to Guideposts! It is absolutely a tear-jerker for all of us! Thank you for sharing it with your readers!

  5. Oh’ Traci, I can’t believe I’m sitting here reading this with tears falling from my eyes. It’s hard to believe that we’ve never met because I’m surprised how much I feel like I’ve know you and your family. I see Debbie has tears of joy too. That’s absolutely wonderful news. I know your mother would be happy and I’m so glad the Lord has brought such a good person into your family. You will be a blessing to her as well. I know that must feel like huge shoes to fill for your future step-mother.

    I wishing you all many wonderful moments. And though Janet will never replace your mom, I hope you do get to have that loving comfort that will remind you of her.

    Joyous love to you…Tracy :)

  6. Traci, this is truly a blessing for your dad, and while it may be hard and strange for you, the rewards will be so much more than you could ever realize. My dad was alone for 13 years when my mom went to heaven. It would have been wonderful for him to have someone to share those years with. Family and friends are wonderful, but they don’t fill the everyday emptiness that comes from living alone. You have a wonderful attitude and your father’s love for his new mate just honors how much he loved your mom. She made him so happy and he so wants to feel that way again. I will keep you all in prayer, and so hug her often, you and she both need that special touch. God Bless. Hugs, Marty

  7. Traci, I’m so very glad for the blessing that this women will be in your fathers life. I’m also very glad that you will have a mother like figure in your life again, not that she will replace her by any means, only that she is a kind and selfless person that will be able to share your ups and downs with you and your family.
    Thank you for sharing with us. You have an amazing attitude, and it’s always nice to hear your positive thoughts and feelings in a world that is so full of negative ones. God Bless you and your family!

  8. This post has me in floods of tears. I can empathize with so much of it. My beloved Mum passed away 12 years ago. I always think when things like this happen it is the one who has passed looking after us. We have had so many good things happen us since my Mum died, I really think she’s had a hand in things.

  9. Traci, your family is *so.fortunate* that you are approaching your father’s marriage with such openness and positivity. What a wonderful example of grace and love for your little ones. What a wonderful gift to both your father and Janet [trust me, if you think your relationship is strong now, it will only get better]. And what a sweet testimony to your mother, that your actions reflect the wishes of your mom.

    Please keep sharing your personal journey (only as much as you are willing, of course). These posts are just as educational as learning how to slipcover. Cheers!

  10. Your response to your father’s big news is a direct testament to the godly heritage of your mother. I can only imagine how pleased your mother would be to read the graciousness in your words.
    Does Janet realize that she is now fodder for you blog? :) Congrats to your dad and the whole Long family!

  11. Oh, Traci, what a beautiful post. May the Lord bless your father and Janet. I can only imagine the happy and sad mingled together. Thank you for sharing this with us. God bless you all!

  12. I’m also crying as I read this…..what a beautiful thing God has done in your heart to welcome her to your family so graciously!

  13. Of all your posts this is one of the most selfless and transparent ones you have ever written. I must say I was a little “shocked” when I say the title of this post, as I have been a faithful reader over the last two years. I tried to put myself in your shoes, because your relationship with your mom reminds me so much of mine and my mother’s. Through your blog I have been reminded to take advantage of every moment I have here on earth. I can’t imagine all you are going through, but you are letting Christ shine through you, I can feel and see it through your words. I know that this must not be easy for you, but I am positive that your Mother had a heavenly hand in this. Thank you so much for sharing your heart, once again with us. Your life truly is a godly testimony to your Mother.
    God bless you!

  14. I wish your Dad and Janet, and your family much happiness. It is a tribute to your mom that you have such a loving nature and family. I am sure she is the guide in helping your dad and you to learn to trust loving someone new. Not easy, but I hope this new relationship brings much joy and love to you all. My sister passed away at 31 leaving a devastated husband, two little ones and a huge extended family mourning our loss for many years. I am sure that it was through her love that my brother in law learned to love someone again. A wonderful woman who helped to raise those children and provide a loving home. She did not ever replace my beloved sister, but she is a very welcome part of our family. At their wedding, and many years later at my now grown nieces wedding, both my bil and his new wife honoured my sister’ with their heartfelt praise for the family she had helped to establish. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.

  15. Traci,

    I am a relatively new reader, so I haven’t been through this journey with you, but this post was simply beautiful. Of course no one can ever replace your wonderful mother, but God has definitely been at work to bring you another person to support you through your loss with the love and patience of a mother.

    What a blessing.

    Congratulations to your whole family…

  16. You definitely had ME crying. I’d do anything to feel my mom’s hugs again. In fact, I’d take any adult type hug right about now! :)

    My mom never remarried when dad passed. She was alone and felt low about it for 15 years. But she chose no and rejoiced in friends and the family instead. It appeared to work for her, but I always worried about her.

    You don’t have to worry about your dad! Incredible. Janet sounds perfect in every way. I’ll pray you have strength to get through the tough times. But I’m thinking you have alot to celebrate here!


  17. I seriously doubt that anyone that has read this has been able to do so without crying. It is such a sweet post. I’m happy that your family has been blessed like this.

  18. thank u for sharing this and putting words to an experience that is filled with soooo many emotions. i passed it on to a friend who’s dad remarried a few yrs back and i know it will bless her to have somone express what she has felt – to comfort those who have been comforted. i personally was blessed by ur honesty as well as ur desire to embrace this wonderful lady. i’m sure that speaks volumes to her as well. thanks for being an example of Christ to so many.

  19. I couldn’t make it all the way through your post without tears. As soon as I saw the title of the post on FB I had to come over and read it. I remember first starting to read your blog when your Mom first got sick. I am so happy for your Dad that he has found someone so wonderful. I also feel for you in this time of mixed emotions. Just let your feelings be what they are and let them flow.


  20. Traci,

    I was SHOCKED when I read the post title! I’ve been with you since the beginning and I couldn’t believe the news, but what a wonderful, honoring post to both Janet and your mom.

    I just sat here crying…so sweet. The Lord is good.

    My oldest daughter is getting married in 14 days so I’m all “welled-up” inside on any wedding news.

    Congrats to your Dad! I’m so happy for him and Janet looks like a lovely person. I’m so glad the Lord is using this new relationship to heal YOUR heart too.

    Many blessings to you all!

  21. I have read your blog as “blog stalker” for awhile. I was shocked when I read this blog post title while I was scrolling down my facebook newsfeed. It makes me think about a family that I’m extremely close to. Her dad remarried after her mother passed away. My friend and her sisters referred to their step-mom as a bonus-mom. It was truly amazing to see the families come together without judgement never forgetting their birth mother. It was truly insipring, and I hope and pray that you and your family experience the same things. God bless and congratulations!

  22. Awww, Traci, you sure keep a good secret! What a sweet story & you wrote your feelings so well. I’m happy for your dad and you and your family. I am sure it will be an adjustment, but she sounds like a wonderful woman. God is good to send your Dad someone to love again. It will be fine! xoxo

  23. Although I do not know you personally, I cried my way through the reading of this post. :)
    God’s faithfulness is evident!! “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ” Press on in Jesus and see His steadfast love for you continue! <3 Cathy

  24. Traci, you are the most amazing woman! You have such a loving nature. I am very happy for your Dad. It is obvious there is no one who could replace your mom, but Janet will be a blessing to your Dad as well as the rest of the family just in different ways.

    I will keep all of you in my prayers. Have a wonderful and joyous weekend!


  25. That IS a sweet story! My heart aches with you at the loss of your Mom. Monday will be the annivarsary of my Mom’s passing & I cannot believe that is has been 8 years already. I still find myself wanting to call her & tell her something that has just happened & I don’t think that feeling will ever go away. My Mom was older though & I remember the Hospice nurse telling us not to be surprised if after her death, our Dad wouldn’t last long. He lived 14 months. But…during those months he got a little “frisky” & threatened to date a couple of the widow ladies in our church! I think more than anything, he enjoyed teasing us.

    I’m sure you will have a wonderful relationship with your new “Mom”. And she no doubt has the wisdom to know that she will never replace your Mom.

    Blessings on your family…& the happy couple!

  26. I’ve been a lurker for a while — I like to dream of doing crafty things — but this is my first comment. My mom died in January. Mother’s Day and her bday a week later were so hard. And what you said rang so true, “I miss my mom’s hugs.” I hope I give my kids enough hugs and kisses and laughs that they can say the some about me someday.

    God bless…

  27. That is so sweet. You know, it gives me hope to think that if something were to happen to my husband, that God would heal my heart enough to love again- that it wouldn’t have to be the end of my life, even though it would seem like it. All the best to your dad and your whole family as you receive a new family member!

  28. Oh, Traci. Wow. Put me in the shocked category. After reading your Wednesdays With Wanda posts, I felt so close to the situation. I hurt so badly for you all. I, too, was reminded so much of the Karen Kingsbury series.

    When I read blogs, I find myself inadvertently trying to figure out if the author of the blog is for real or not. I wish I didn’t, but sometimes I do. You amaze me. You set such a great example for the rest of us of how to handle HARD situations where the “right” answers and ways to deal with things are not cut and dry. You are very wise and I truly believe that probably is exactly the outlook God would want you and the rest of us to have. I thank God that you have your blogging platform to reach people. There is nothing like real people who live it and don’t just talk it.

    Good luck to your family and I am so happy for you all. Congratulations to your sweet Dad. :)

  29. She just radiates goodness. What a lovely lady! I want to marry Janet too. ;)

    Your dad looks so happy!!!

    Blessings to your family.


  30. What a sweet post! I’m happy for your dad and I am also glad to read of your sweet and gracious perspective on the situation. Janet looks like a very sweet lady who will be a blessing to you and your family!

  31. Your mother must had truely been a wonderful person to have instilled in you such an open heart and a loving soul. I am still wiping away the tears even as a post my comment.

  32. Traci, your Mom is smiling down on the happy couple, and she is gently patting your shoulder! She knows she cannot be replaced, but she also knows your Dad is not meant to grow old alone, and your children are not meant to be without grandma kind of love. And you dear girl, are not meant to be without this wonderful woman who will reflect a mother’s love, not replace it. God bless all of you, oh wait, He has!!!

  33. I clicked on your post because I was in shock. But after reading your post I’m in tears. How wonderful for your dad. How blessed all of you are. You are a very loving person Traci and I hope you enjoy this new chapter! God Bless!

  34. While part of you is sad, part of you is happy. I sit here crying for you missing your mom but also happy you give your dad your blessing. Your mom sounded wonderful and full of love – she wouldn’t want your dad sad forever. He will do fine and so will you. Look, nothing will bring your mom back but at least now you gain a step- mother and maybe you can make some memories with her.
    Best wishes to you and your family.

  35. Ok so I cried once again while reading one of your posts. I cannot imagine how hard this must be, except that something similar happened to me when I was 9 years old and my dad got remarried (my mom is still alive). I love my stepmom and she has been there for me in some very difficult and some very wonderful times in my life. I hope you, too, can experience the amazing joy of having a stepmom. She can never replace your mom but she can be an amazing source of wisdom and strength for you and your family and especially a companion for your dad. We wish you all the greatest blessings God has in store for you!

  36. I had seen a post on your sister’s blog about it a few days ago. I was waiting for yours. As many of the other readers have stated, I have sat here and cried as I read this, Traci. I know it must be hard, but the way you have handled it tells something about your own personal relationship with the Lord. He is giving you grace. He does that for his children. We have seen my father-in-law go through that lonliness for the past 4 years since my precious mother -in-law passed away. My husband has stated that he wishes his dad could find a good wife that would love and care for him. There have been a couple of prospects, but, he hasn’t found that “one” yet. Your dad is blessed to find such a sweet, Christian woman. May the Lord bless your family. Gail

  37. I’m so happy for what God is doing in your life and in your dad’s life, Traci. God promises to bring good even of the hardest circumstances we will ever have to face… what a joy to recognize that good when it comes. Love you!

  38. I’m crying, too. Traci, you have a beautiful heart. I hope your dad’s marriage is a blessing to all of you.

  39. I would be having tears too if it was my Dad. I miss my Mom everyday too. Janet looks like a sweet person that makes your Dad happy! love and prayers!

  40. I had not read any of your posts about your mom until today and was in tears. Your mom sounds like she was an amazing woman, mother, and wife and lived a life we all strive to live. Thank you for sharing. Congratulations to your dad! What a happy day:)

  41. I remember seeing a post on your sister’s website as well. I am so thankful that God has brought someone into your dad’s life to share these latter years with. I can imagine your mixed feelings, but I am so thankful that you like her and know she is a blessing to your dad, and to your family. God is so good.

  42. I have not been following you for very long but I so enjoyed reading your post. I cried all the way through it. Your words were so sweet and I can imagine that I would feel the same way. I know it will be some comfort to you knowing that your Dad will not be lonely and he will have some one to share his life with. I will be praying for you and your family!!

  43. I’ll try not to make this too lengthy but I do want to share.

    I haven’t been reading your blog since before your sweet mother passed but, in the time that I have been reading it, it is so apparent what a Godly and wonderful wife, mother, grandmother & woman that she was. Your love for her flows from these pages and I can’t even imagine how much she’s missed.

    Several months ago, I told a friend of mine that I don’t want my husband to remarry if I “go” first. She could hardly believe her ears and she reminded me what a precious gift companionship is and wondered to me why I wouldn’t want that for him. My husband and I have been “together” since we were 14 (that’s 30 years) and I guess I just can’t stand the thought of him being with another. Anyway….I’ve digressed. My friend shared with HER husband what I’d said and he asked her to politely tell me that I might not want to share that thought with my husband for fear that if something does happen to me, he’ll struggle with the guilt if God does bring someone else into his life. What seemed like simple girl talk has led to a can of worms being poured open before me.

    Just like God, since the time I said that, two things have happened: First, we have some friends (since HS) who, in December (just shy of her 38th birthday), the wife passed away. The husband is left with a 9-year-old daughter and newly diagnosed with Autism 4-year-old twins. He and the children have moved to my area and are attending church with us and, can I just tell you, that each week I sit with him and his daughter and overcome by the thought that he NEEDS a wife. He needs someone to share this life with and I pray, when the time is right, that God will bring him the right wife and mother for these children.

    Secondly, I chose the book “Transforming Grace” (by Jerry Bridges) for my a ladies discipleship group that I lead and there, in the pages, Mr. Bridges uses the example of his remarrying following the death of his first wife as God’s unmerited favor on his life. I think God wants me to deal with this in my heart and, can I just add, that the preciousness of your Daddy’s story just confirms so many things for me.

    Best wishes for your family.

  44. Oh Traci…God is so good! Sometimes we have NO IDEA what He’s doing in, to and through us. Im very happy to hear that you’re happy about this. And that you TRUST Him. Thanks for sharing this news with us!

  45. Oh, Traci. Thank you so much for sharing! I will be sure to lift you and your family up in prayer. I think it is great that your dad found someone like Janet though. I hope you guys will continue to form a strong bond. I am happy for you and your family. I can’t imagine how tough that must be though. Good luck and know that you are in our thoughts & prayers!

  46. Hi Traci,
    When I started reading your blog your sweet Mother had already passed away, but I feel so strongly the love you have for her. I cried when I read this post. Tears of sorrow and sympathy for the Mother you miss, and tears of joy for the new found love your Father and your family will have for Janet. I’m so happy that she is a kind Christian woman that wants to hear your Mother talked about and not forgotten. Sadly, I have seen many men remarry in their later years who have new wives that feel jealous of their spouses deceased wives. So, I am so glad that she the good woman you have described. Hang in there, I’m sure there will still be hard moments, but remember God wants us to be HAPPY! :)

  47. How wonderful – my husband and I married 11 years ago after each of our spouses died (we were 43 and 45). One of our pastors told us,the most happilly married people who are widowed are often the first ones remarried because they know how much marriage mirrors Gods love for us – rejoice and be oh so glad they have another grandma

  48. Hey girl! I already knew about Janet from Cyndi’s blog, of course, but I’m so glad to see you talk about it here! Isn’t it amazing how many different feelings you can have all at the same time? I think the tears come sometimes because there’s just too much feeling for your heart to hold. Some of them are hard; some of them are very happy; all of them are strong. So sometimes you cry!

    I am so happy for your dad and for Janet. What a blessed woman to now become a part of your family! She sounds so wise. I do believe she is heaven-sent!

    Bless you as you process all your feelings. May the weeks ahead be joyous ones!

  49. I often get asked how I feel about my dad remarrying. My response is always the same. I want him to be happy. And that is what matters. Nothing will take away Mom, but joy comes from seeing my Dad happy again.

  50. God is so good. He always gives us what we need when we need it. He has great timing, doens’t he?
    Your daddy looks so happy.

    Praying for you as you walk this new journey.

  51. I think this is a beautiful testament to your parent’s marriage and their faith. We “know” that Wanda prayed for this and God has the Master Plan. He works miracles daily and preparing your dad’s heart for another as well as Janet’s…and all the children involved…could definitely be considered such. No one could ever replace your Mom….but this union is truly a blessing from above. Your dad will be happier, they both will probably live longer and you will have a new “friend” to love.

    I’d like to send congratulations to them and wishes for a beautiful life together!

  52. I have lots of emotions about this post, tears of joy & saddness, tears from knowing that God has answered you momma’s prayers. I know what you are going through, I just went through it at an early age and I didn’t understand all the emotions that I had to go through. It didn’t make for an easy life for my stepdad, I just looked at it like he was trying to take the place of my dad, which now I see wasn’t the case…. but it was hard at 13!! I am so happy for you and God is soo good and His timing is always right!

  53. This was so beautiful. I’m crying along with several others, I’m sure. I miss my Daddy and Mama so much sometimes it hurts, but I know that I will see them again one day. I love the way the Lord prepares our hearts for every single second of our lives. I know you will cherish the times you’ll have with your Dad and his new wife, as you all grow together as a family.

  54. Oh my goodness. I am reading this post and have tears streaming down my face. I have been following your posts about your mom, your relationship with her, her faith and how much you miss her. I recently lost my mom, July 2010. I know it sounds cliche but I lost my best friend. I really did! I miss my daily hour long calls, I miss her voice, her laugh, her smile and especially her hugs. My dad is still living and moved from their home to a place just a mile away from me. He joins my family every night for dinner and I am fortunate to be able to drive him to all his appointments and errands. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. I truly believe that God has a plan but I’m having trouble figuring out what his plan is. My parents were married 60 years and my mom passing has left my dad so sad. My pain is for him too. How do you deal with your own grief when all the while your dad is hurting. I will pray for you and your feelings. I know you know that this is all good but I can only imagine how it really feels inside. I would just like t to all go back the way it was!

  55. That is so beautiful. It makes me cry…

    I can relate a little bit to the honesty of your post. I don’t know what I would think or feel if my mom were to ever get remarried. It was really have to be a special, hand-picked-from-God sort of man.

    I’ll be thinking of you in your adjustments. BTW: Just by the photos – Janet looks like a natural. Perfectly suited for the family. ;)

  56. I can so identify with you in this post…my dad passed away almost 5 years ago, and my mom remarried 2 years ago. I admire how well you are handling it and walking through this transition. I don’t think I handled it as gracefully, and though I have come a long way, I still struggle sometimes…mostly, because, like you said I still want MY dad. But I am glad that my mom is happy, and no longer alone. Blessings on all of you as you enter this new season!!!

  57. I am crying as I read this post! I am a new follower but I ache for you in losing your mom and rejoice for you in gaining a new family member from God. He is so good and I have recently returned to Him myself after 5 yrs of a marriage gone wrong that He told me not to get into but I did anyway. He just has came back to me like before. I do pray that your family will continue to receive His blessings and be happy with your new “step-mom”, or “sent-mom” sounds better.

  58. I just had to comment on your post, thank you SO much for sharing! What a beautiful testament of God’s amazing faithfulness! I love the way you share all of your emotions and about how you feel that your mom handpicked you another “mom”, just so beautiful the way you’ve told this beautiful story. Thank you:)

  59. That made me tear up! Everything will be ok….it will just take time. I’m sure it will be hard for her as well.

    We will all be thinking of you and look forward to hearing about the wedding.

  60. you are amazing and inspiring!! thank you so much for this post. I hope everything goes well and I’m so impressed with your mom’s phrase of “I trust Him”. my new words to live by.

  61. Tracy,

    Your post brought tears! I read about your father marrying on your sister’s blog recently, and I am so happy for him. I am so happy for you and your children, too…what an awesome thing that God would bless your father would such a sweet and Godly woman. I will be praying for you and your family, and I pray that you will all be blessed by this new marriage. ((HUGS))

  62. I am new to reading your blog, but feel blessed that I found it. I too lost my mother and best friend 15 months ago and have had struggles with my father finding a new partner. Reading this today was like a sign telling me it will all work out for the best. Thank you for sharing your story!

  63. You’ve brought me to tears. This post is beyond amazing and I am beyond crazy happy for your father and you and your family. God is so good and faithful.

    As a struggling fellow believer I must tell you how much your posts have meant to me personally. To read of your blessings, your heartaches, your real emotions and most importantly your heart for God has meant more to me than I can say. It is so obvious that God’s love, and your love for Him, flows freely from you and affects everyone around you (whether they are aware of it or not), even those who “know” you online. Please continue to write and share. It is ministering powerfully in more ways you can imagine.

    Again, I am in awe of what God is doing in your dad’s life. What a legacy of faith and love your mother has left for all of you. No doubt she was a very humble woman but her life is still impacting others. How awesome is that? I know God will continue to bless and comfort you through all of the emotions you’ll continue to feel. Here’s to renewal and joy!

    Heartfelt xoxoxo,

  64. Oh, Traci. Such a beautifully written post! I’m sobbing my eyes out and my cats are gathering around as they do, wondering what is wrong with ‘mom.’ Even the smallest creatures know to give love to comfort those in pain! This post just tears at my heart, because it is so painfully clear how much you miss your mother, and I am saddened for you. The loss of your mom is still very fresh; it does get better (less painful) with time, but you will never forget your wonderful mom nor will you ever stop missing her. No one can ever replace her, but it sounds to me like Janet will be a wonderful support for you in the future.

    But my tears are also because I am so happy for your father, and for Janet! It’s so wonderful that you have such a positive attitude about your dad remarrying; it is a credit to how your parents brought you up and to your own loving nature.

    Janet is adorable, she looks like a very warm, caring lady, and your father looks so happy. Yes, it does sound like your mom hand-picked Janet for your dad. Bless her loving heart!



  65. Ok Traci, I know you get tons and tons of comments, and are a super popular blogger.

    But I just have to say, maybe for my own sake, that this touched me to the core. What a beautiful love you have for Jesus, and what an amazing example you had. I can only hope I can be that example of Jesus for my children, even though I do a TERRIBLE JOB of it

    And the timing was perfect. While deceived people were hooting and hollering about the world coming to an end today, you showed them what God REALLY looks like.

    Great job, good a faithful servant :)

  66. Traci,
    I was definitely in the boat of “shocked” when I read the title of this post. I don’t remember how I stumbled across your blog, but it was during your mother’s battle that I joined the ranks as a follower of Beneath My Heart.
    Over the last couple of years, I’ve enjoyed home improvement posts, marveled at your ingenuity and creativity, and been humbled listening to your perspective as a God fearing woman.
    This post made me, like many others, cry. And it was a strange, jumbled sort of cry: pain for your loss, frustration at the confusion it must cause, joy for your father and your family, and brokenness in a sort of awe at your reaction…wondering if I could ever handle anything with as much grace as you are handling this most difficult transition.
    I know you didn’t post this to show us how great you are, or how easy it is for you to do the right thing…but thank you for sharing your life in such a transparent way.

    I find it odd how a “stranger” can evoke so much thought and conviction, but again, I thank you for sharing your life with all of us, being so genuine, and setting such an amazing example for us all.
    Your mom would be proud.

  67. Hello Traci, I am a relative new follower of your blogg and I was in tears the whole way through reading your post. So lovely that you can share this with us. Our prayers are with you and your family as you experience this change and welcome a lovely new Christian woman into your family and into your hearts. God is with you and will continue to bless you all – just Trust Him as your mum would say. With love and prayers and blessings, Wendy xx

  68. How blessed you are to feel a mother’s love again! You are also so smart to except this new change in your life with your dad and just wanting him to be happy!
    BTW I used the 40% off coupon from Michael’s on some chalk ink:)


  69. Hi Traci! I am a completely new follower of your blog, as in the last few weeks, so I had no idea about your mom. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Yet I felt compelled to comment on this post because it rings so true to home for me! I feel in my heart, every little word and detail you’ve posted here. I lost my precious mom 6 years ago (and yes, it does get easier with time, trust me), and my dad is too getting remarried. My mother was the kind of mom that every little girl dreams of; she was my best friend in every way, yet also a strong & supportive mother who gave me strength, courage & the ability to confidently chase my dreams in every way possible. She left an *incredible* mark on every single life she touched, and that shows through the power of words that I still read about her, like when I post her picture on FB for her bday, her dday, etc. The comments about her beauty and grace continuously overwhelm and amaze me. We ALL miss her so dearly! Yet, we have a new woman in our family, whom I know was sent to us from God. Will she ever replace my mom, my 3 boys’ grandmother, my father’s wife? No, she will not! But we truly could not have asked for a better person to heal my father’s aching heart. For a couple of years, he was so sad, we all were… And it pained my heart & soul to go back home, to visit the quiet, empty, lonely house that my dad was “living” in, alone.. The home that my mom and dad built together 32 years ago… Then one day, almost 4 years ago, we went home for a summer cook-out (we live in NC, my family home is in upstate NY), and there she was, my future step-mom. It was SO hard and awkward at first. But over these past 4 years, we’ve grown to love her as if she was ALWAYS there. Not as a replacement, just as another loving member of our family, who just happens to fall into the motherly/grandmotherly category. My boys, who never knew their real grandmother, just adore her, more than I could ever ever hope for! And she loves them and us, right back, with every ounce of her heart. She and my father were just here this week, caring for our boys, while my husband and I went to NYC for a little retreat without the kids. And what an impact she has made on their life (our life)! They just left at 6:00 this morning for the 12 hour drive back home. Whatever, I could go on and on…. But just wanted to let you know how close I feel to you and to your story. And I hope that your father has many long years of happiness with Janet! And I hope that you feel the happiness and love in your heart, for your new step-mom, that I have found in mine!

    Funny, they’ve been engaged for almost a year now, but still no talk of wedding plans… They cannot agree on a time/place/details! He wants a backyard bbq, where he gets to be the grillmaster – insert eye roll here. She wants a small, yet pleasantly catered affair amongst her closest friends and family. I am guessing they’ll come to an agreement some day. :)

  70. Congratulations to your Dad and Janet! Your post beautifully captured the bittersweet emotions that would naturally surface with this occassion. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. x

  71. What sweet post. I had read about it earlier, on your sister’s blog… It just makes me smile….
    God is so good…. May He richly Bless them on thier new life together.

  72. {{{TRACI}}}} How Beautiful! God IS GOOD! I pray for many blessings for your dad and Janet as they start their new life together. What a blessing to have a BONUS MOM for you and your sister!


    Marilyn C.

  73. Amen — Hallelujah! Praise the Lord…. look at all the hearts He has touched through you! Thank you Traci and Congratulations to your Dad & Janet. I’m certain your mom is smiling!

  74. Wow! I’m shocked! I never would have thought you would be posting about your father remarrying. I have also been following for quite some time and have read your amazing posts about your Mom (and Dad). This brought me to tears. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you. What amazing strength and hope you have in the Lord. Thank you for sharing your heart and life here. I love your posts about home improvements and decor but I REALLY love your posts about life and your faith. I learn so much from your honest testimony of God’s work in your life! I pray God would continue to give you strength, hope, joy and peace during this time!

  75. I just wanted to thank you for your faithfulness. It has inspired me today. Sometimes this life is quirky, difficult and confusing. But with God, we can find the peace and strength we need to get through.
    Bless you as you transition with your dad into this new phase of life. Janet seems like an angel.

  76. I’m sure you mom would be so proud of you right now! God is definitely stretching you in ways you probably never imagined! Keep your heart open and your kleenex close by. I’m happy for your dad and Janet. Life is hard but so worth living, thank you for sharing your heart!!


  77. I’ve been following your blog for some time. I think it’s amazing how you presented your thought process of accepting a new person in your family. I feel that you will all be a blessing to each other. Thank you for sharing your big heart.

  78. What a beautiful description you’ve given to this event in your life. I wept when I read about the hug. It’s wonderful that you understand how much your dad needs a loving partner in his life. I know a couple who married in their 80’s, and their children didn’t handle it well. But that couple is so happy and they love each other so much. G-d bless you, not only for giving her a chance to love your dad, but for embracing her as a gift in your life. I’m sure your mother is over-joyed.


  79. Traci, I cried reading this… you are such a sweet and well balanced person. I am happy for your dad and what a blessing that Janet is someone that you and your family really likes. I will be praying for you guys. Its amazing how involved you get from just reading a blog. :)) I feel like Ive known you for a long time and your Mother too. God Bless you and Hugs.

  80. Oh, Traci, I cried, too reading your post !!! I am so happy for you and your family. God has brought healing and will continue to do so, and is bringing joy back into your Daddy’s life after all the sorrow he went thru. Look forward to hearing more……

  81. LOVE this post!! Definitely made me teary!! I am so happy for your dad & for your family!! That is so awesome! God is sooo good!!

  82. I teared up reading this! What a great post! I’m a step-mom and someone told me recently that I’m more of a “bonus” mom and not really the “step” kind. That made me smile and I hope Janet is that “bonus” mom for you. :)

  83. What a beautiful post and how wonderful of you to be so open, caring, and loving during a time that as special as it is, is hard too. I think you hit it on the head when you said that she wasn’t there to replace your mom, but to honor her. She is a pretty lucky lady to come into your family and I am so glad to see your dad just beaming! Have a wonderful week and many blessings!

  84. You’re amazing. Best wishes to your Dad and Janet & thanks for sharing your sweet and honest thoughts, feelings & testimony. God does work in wonderful ways and it’s so great when we can put our faith in him, knowing he sees the big pictures and keep moving forward (even when it’s not easy). Your mom surely did raise you well to have such faith in difficult situations.
    Best of luck with your move.

  85. Oh Traci, yes, bless your sweet heart. As in all of your posts, I love the sincerity in your voice. Every word comes straight from the heart, the same heart you wear on your sleeve and share with us. I believe your wonderful mother DID handpick Janet for your Dad, the same way our children are handpicked for us. Your mom knows Janet is the perfect fit for your amazing family. And what a LUCKY person Janet is to have you all as instant family – you can see it in her pretty face. I’m happy for your Dad, and I’m sure this time is tremendously bittersweet for him too. I look forward to more heartwarming posts about this journey Traci.

  86. Traci, I really do admire you. You are an incredible women, but I guess you know that, since you had such a wonderful mom. I pray with you that you welcome Janet into your heart and home. She is not replacing your mom, but will be an extension of your family, your dad and your children. You are blessed!

  87. Traci,
    I am new to your blog and saw your title and had to click on it and read. My step mother passed away from cancer almost two years ago and it was the hardest thing I have had to handle and miss her so very much, she was my best friend. My Dad is now getting remarried and that has been a difficult transition for me and for all my family but after reading this it has inspired me and given me new light. You are amazing, thank you for sharing and for encouraging others.

  88. Isn’t it just the best God’s blessing to have more people to love, and who love us? How blessed you are to have God working in your life preparing you for your Dad’S remarriage. Your mom raised a phenomenal woman. I’ve always told my children that I won’t be able to enjoy heaven if they grieve too long. My step-grandmother helped raise me. I can not even put into words what a God’s blessing she was to me, and everyone she ever met. May God continue to bless you and your family. If I were your mom, your loving way would make me so proud. Big hugs honey.

  89. It’s looks like this post is a few months old, but being new to your blog I am just reading it now and what a beautiful post, Traci. You have a special way with words and I was brought to tears by your honesty. I know your mom must be so honored by your words and Janet must feel so welcomed and loved by your family. Your dad must be so proud to have such an incredibly loving woman as his daughter. But most of all I know how glorified and honored the Lord must be by your honesty, grace and unconditional love towards people.

    I can see the beautiful, Godly person you are just from reading your blog and it would be such a blessing to meet you in person one day.

    P.S. This is the second time today that your blog has brought tears to my eyes. I had the privilege of reading your “Love Story” posts today. What a blessing to my heart, it makes me consider being even more intentional with loving and honoring the Lord through my marriage. Thanks for sharing it!

  90. Thank you for sharing your story. I came upon this particular blog post, searching for answers to cope with the exact same thing that you went through – Dad remarrying after Mom passed. Reading your story has unleashed the tears of emotions that I’ve felt over the past few days. My mom too passed away 2 years ago from an aggressive form of cancer. She was only 57 yrs old and she was our family rock. After she passed, I worried plenty about my dad’s well-being knowing that he was deeply saddened and lonely. But yesterday, I met my Dad’s new lady for the 1st time, whom he is marrying very soon. 1st impression of her, she’s a nice lady and she loves my Dad. Also, she upfront with me about respecting my Dad’s past with my Mom, and that my Mom will always be my Mom. Her saying that to me made me feel good knowing that’s how she felt. But now that I’m home, I’m starting to reflect on the events over the past 2 days, something has overcome me with an uncomfortable saddened feeling. I miss my Mom so much more!! It’s like I’m grieving all over again. Your words in this story is exactly how I’m feeling. So, thank you for giving me insight and a better perspective of hope and positivity. It’s going to help me cope with what is to come. THANK YOU!

  91. Traci

    Thank you for sharing your story. I cannot get over how much it is like mine. My parents were married for 40 yrs. My mom died this past Dec, 2010 from cancer and I am still having such a hard time letting go. My dad recently met and is planning on remarrying this upcoming Nov. It hasn’t even been a year and I find this so difficult. The idea that God had picked Janet made me think. I am to meet her for the first time at the end of this month. I am thankful for all that God has done to heal my heart but know that I need his strength to get through this first meeting and their upcoming wedding. Thank you again, so much, for sharing your heart. God Bless. Deb

  92. I read your story – and the emotions you felt with it. I have had a parent die and another remarry. Ultimately, it has been such a gift because you know that the surviving parent is not continuing to feel the loneliness often associated with a spousal death. Thanks for sharing what so many adult children feel when they have to go through this process.

    Blessings, Sofia

  93. I have just found your blog and have been enjoying looking around at some of your older posts. I don’t usually comment on blogs, but really wanted to thank you for so beautifully expressing what mirrors what is going on in my life right now. My mom passed away a year and a half ago and this summer my dad will be getting remarried … so many emotions. Thanks for your thoughtful, positive perspective!

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