My #1 Struggle in Life

Today, I am just going to get real and honest with you.  I want to tell you where I am at in my life.  Not sure why.   Just do.

This past summer has been a whirlwind.  Actually, it feels like the whole past year has been a whirlwind.  I’m not one for sitting still or slowing things down.  I usually like to go a hundred miles an hour.  That would usually be a very good and productive thing, unless you are going 100 miles an hour in a million different directions.  

That’s me. 

I’m a lot like my mom.  I am starting to see so much of her in me as I grow older.  I pray that I have gotten most of her good qualities, but I have picked up a few not-so-good ones as well. 

Like procrastinating.  My mom always waited until the last minute to do things.  

Yep.  Me too.

She also always had too many irons in the fire.  

Yep.  Me again. 

Mom often seemed scattered and a little disorganized, but it is what we loved about her.  She was always cracking us up with how she would go about doing things.  One thing is for sure, she always knocked it out of the park!    She was amazing!

After our little girl flew back home, I felt an extreme longing to get my life in order and most importantly, spend time with God.  We have some crazy exciting things coming our family’s way this year, and it can be a little overwhelming.  I want to prepare my heart, home, and mind for these exciting changes.  Just saying an occasional prayer is not going to cut it.  I need to saturate myself in God’s Word. 

Unfortunately, I am more of a “pray-er” than a bible reader.  Yet, I know that there are riches untold in God’s word, and I have been longing to hear from Him.  

There are several areas of my life that I am struggling the most in right now:

1.  My weight.

2.  My blog/job commitments.

3.  My time with God.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and I have decided that my struggles all boil down to one word…


I don’t have it.   Not a lick.

I am not disciplined in my eating habits, which is why I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my life (minus my pregnancies.)  I am about 40 pounds over my healthy weight range.  And it is because I have no discipline.  I am a stress and emotional eater.  And it doesn’t help that my metabolism has come to a screeching halt since I hit 40.  ugh.


I am also not disciplined in exercising.  I used to exercise almost daily and would run a lot.  Not now.  It has been for-e-va since I have worked out consistently.  In my defense, I have scoliosis and suffer from chronic back pain, which doesn’t make exercising fun.  BUT if I could strengthen my core, it would help with my back issues.  It is like a vicious cycle.

The quote below made me laugh….


What I want MOST is to be healthy, but what I want NOW is a large coke from McDonald’s and a tub of cookie dough.  (Not kidding.)  IF I were disciplined, I would choose want I want most over what I want now.  See what I mean?


The next quote reminds me of my blog/job commitments.  Over the past six years, my blog has turned into a business and has provided an income for my family.  I have a ton of goals with my blog.  I am a dreamer, and I dream about doing things, BIG things with my blog.  Dreams I would feel stupid saying out loud on my blog.  My mind goes a million different directions with my blog, because truthfully, in this online world, it is possible to go a million different directions.

But GOALS without DISCIPLINE get me nowhere.  Discipline is the bridge between my goals and my accomplishments.  If I am not disciplined, I’ll never get anything accomplished.


So that is why I got an office away from home.  Do you even remember me talking about it?  I shared it with you this past spring, but then I had to kind of drop that project because of everything else we had going on this summer.  Next week, I am going to start focusing on getting that office space together so I have a place to go and FOCUS and hopefully be DISCIPLINED. 

I don’t know about you, but I don’t work good from home.  I am so distracted by the piles of laundry, the dirty dishes, the tv, and the couch (it calls my name everyday for a nap.) :)

So I work best when I leave the house and work somewhere else.  I go to McDonald’s, Panera, or a local pizza place I love to work on my computer.  I knock out so much work when I go somewhere else to get it done.   Thus, that is why I am getting an office space away from home.  It is my prayer that it will help me to set a work schedule and be more disciplined with my time. 


I feel like an octopus on roller skates most of the time, do you?  I believe that God has given me talents that He wants me to use to the fullest, but I am rolling around on roller skates in all kinds of directions.  I want to hone in on my talents and do WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO WHEN HE WANTS ME TO DO IT.

That’s why I need to be disciplined in the time I spend in His presence.  I am truly yearning for that right now.  I need to hear His voice clearly.  Life is so precious, and I do not want to waste it on frivolous things or things that are unimportant for the kingdom.  His kingdom.   I want to focus on what matters most….which is undeniably HIM.  


So there you have it.  I’ve confessed my guts out to you today.  If you are still reading this post….BLESS YOU. ;)

I want to always be real with my readers.  I want you to know that I do not have it all together.  It is important for you to know what I am struggling with and what I am focusing on this coming  year. 

You may be hearing a little more of it on my blog in the coming months.  My attempts to be more disciplined.  I will still be blogging about my DIY life because that is the only life I know to live.  ha!  But I am hoping to through in a few healthy recipes or posts about a healthy lifestyle.  

And I want to show more of my heart on my blog.   More of what matters most to me.  Thank you for letting me.

It is such an honor to walk through life with you!

Do you have an area of your life in which you struggle?  




  1. I could have written much of what you wrote here, Traci! My mind goes in a million directions with my blog, and I really need to work on discipline and focus, big time. I’m planning on putting more purposeful time aside for blogging each day when the kids go back to school next week.

    As for discipline when it comes to weight, I’m good with the exercise, but struggle with food. Always have. Give me a cookie NOW, forget my plans for where I want to be. Then it’s guilt, guilt, guilt. A cycle that is oh so hard to break.

    Thanks for sharing – you’re not alone!

  2. You spoke all that I am feeling in my heart. I too need to find the discipline to make the time to dig into His Word. I have been very slack in this area. Thank you for your transperancy.

  3. I can totally relate, Traci. I work for the state, but travel so much that I just have a home office. If I’m not traveling, I’m going stir crazy just sitting at home. Most of the time I end up at a coffee shop or the library, but that just adds to my lack of discipline because then I *have to go out for lunch* or I *need to buy another iced vanilla latte* so that they will let me stay another 3 hours. It’s so hard to stay the course!

  4. Love you and your sister. It’s nice to know you are just a regular person because you and your sister look pretty perfect from the outside. I’d love to be your current weight, and I don’t even know what that is! Lol! Try to remember to keep things in perspective as you work on change. It’s something I’m finally figuring out at age 51!

    1. Thank you, Lynne. I promise you that I weigh way more than you would think. It always surprises people when I tell them how much I weigh. I am definitely not “healthy” and my weight is starting to affect my energy level and ability to do certain things. I am excited about getting more disciplined!! Blessings, Traci

  5. Thanks for sharing. You do always keep it real and the cookie dough doesn’t sound too bad right now. :) We all struggle in different ways. I work from home full-time and understand the special challenges that brings. It’s both a blessing and a curse.

    You’re, as always, an inspiration. I leaned heavily on some of your writings about your Mom when I lost my Dad this spring. Thank you for being there!

    1. Kim, I am so sorry about the loss of your dad. I’m a big time “daddy’s girl” so I can imagine what you are feeling. I pray that God continues to heal your heart. It is a slow process, but he does bring healing.
      God bless you,

  6. You are me, and us, and every person out there who is desiring to walk life in God’s way, and seeing how UN-smooth it usually is! We are our own obstacle course, and yet… God continues to work and to use the gifts he has given us, in spite of ourselves. :)

    Keep on… our understanding of what needs to change makes us more focused on the doing of it.

    Praying for you, and for all that your life is so full of. SO excited about this little girl in your lives, and all the rest…

  7. I read your list and said, 1. yep, 2. yep, 3. yep. For me, it’s not just about discipline but also planning. If I don’t PLAN to exercise somehow the day will get by me and it won’t get done. Same with blog posts – I have to put on my to-do list a repeating reminder to blog x# of times a week. As for eating, I highly recommend reading “Made to Crave” by Lysa TerKeurst. I’m on my second reading of it now (because I forgot so much the first time). The premise is that God designed us to crave – but to crave Him, not the other things that detract us from Him. Very good writing.
    I keep thinking it might be good to have an accountability partner but I haven’t found one yet :)

    1. Yes, Carmen, planning is key. My problem is I am not disciplined at planning. :) It is my goal this week to plan out each and every day. Baby steps. :) I have heard about Lysa’s book. I need to check it out.


  8. Traci – Bless your heart, girl! You are not alone in lacking focus and discipline. This summer I’ve been blaming my own scattered mind on the incredible heat and humidity, but I know in my heart it’s because I just haven’t made the commitment to being as organized in my life as I need and want to. My youngest child was born in 2012 and even though we planned for him and he completes our family in the most magnificent way … well, 4 kids is a lot and I’ve had trouble getting back on track since then – with exercise, blogging, pretty much every part of my life. Thank you for sharing your struggle – I’ll be praying for you to find your balance!

  9. I hope you do share more about all of these things on the blog. We all struggle with discipline and it’s nice to know we can support one another. God bless you and FYI I think you are a beautiful woman of God!

  10. Traci yes I can relate to all of this!I

    Turning 50 last week, whew! Talk about a slow down on the ole metabolism.The stress of my father in a nursing home for alzheimers, my mother alone but now moving in with my sister and her family next week, and our move last year have just about done me in with stress.

    We will pray and be strong together.

    Hugs my friend,


  11. Amen to this post! My same struggles … And from what I’m reading in the comments, these are the same struggles for many of us. I was UBER disciplined in college (20 years ago!) but now I struggle to find my groove in anything. Thanks for taking the chance and being real. :)

  12. Whew. Words could not be more true! I just turned 40 on the 1st and I’m feeling this overwhelming sense of needing order. To take care of things that I keep putting off. take action on my vision of home for our boys and my hubby…and me. I, too, need to lose 40 pounds and you pinpointed it! Discipline it is! I can come up with all sorts of “plans” and “schedules”, but if there’s no action, well, the change I’m longing for obviously will not happen. You know what they say…21 days to make a habit part of normal daily life. One day at a time, we CAN get there! Chin up buttercup. We got this!

  13. I don’t usually take time to read blogs, but yours jumped out to me! I read the whole thing! It really resonated with me! I too work from home (part time while retired) and I am so easily distracted! But I don’t want to commute any longer. Since menopause, my weight has jumped as well! And, I too suffer with scoliosis. I want to walk, but it’s painful and not fun. I know a trips to the chiropractor would be helpful, but I’m embarrassed by my weight gain! I also find solace in prayer and have not taken time to read the Bible. Your words and struggle have made me feel not alone! I will keep trying if you will! Jackie

  14. Thanks for such a transparent post! Identifying the areas you need discipline in is great but, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, I would advise tackling them in small bites! I read a great book once, The 2 Degree Difference. The author maintained that just making a 2 degree difference in the areas you are struggling with will make a huge difference and will set you on a path to success. With food, maybe you change 2 degrees and commit to a salad 3 days a week or 1 hamburger instead of 3 or mayonnaise on one side of your sandwich instead of both. Same thing with spending time in the Word. Commit to 5 verses a day … you get the idea! Now, I need to take my own advice!

  15. I hear you, sweetheart. I hear you. You are most certainly not alone! I think lots of us feel this way much of the time. We get busy and then we get busier and then it seems that all of a sudden we’re just like that octopus on roller skates! :)

    Now. . . can I help? I love you and Cyndi so much–if there’s any way I can help with anything, please let me know!

  16. I have 30 lbs to loose too and that is a real trial for me. My doctor told me the other day something that really hit home.

    “Nothing tastes good enough to hurt your health”.

    How simple, I need to say that about a million times a day.

  17. Love your blog. And love this post! Thanks for sharing your heart and desire to spend more time reading God’s word and listening to His voice. What a bold thing to do and I applaud you. I will pray for you up have discipline and to find an office space. God bless you and I look forward to reading more posts and seeing your dreams come true :)

  18. Thank you for your honesty. I too suffer from procrastination and just lack of motivation. It seems there is always so much to be done and I just feel like doing the bare minimum. I am at my heaviest weight and I know what I need to do about it…it’s just well…that whole lack of discipline. Food is my comfort. I know spending more time with God should be where I seek my comfort. Let’s pray for each other Traci. Blessings to you.

  19. Thank you, Traci, for speaking exactly what’s on MY heart…right down to the last detail!! I look forward to EVERYTHING you will share…but especially the steps you take to make those important things front and center in your life! You are so real and honest…if Minnesota wasn’t so far away, we could have coffee….(iced for me!) Bless you and your family!!

  20. Traci, I struggle with the very same things! I relate so much to what you are saying and wish that I knew the magic “trick” to be more disciplined! I know there’s no magic, but certainly wish there was! I would love it if you would share any tidbits of info that help you along the way. Wishing you all the best!

  21. I can relate to your interesting post. I used to have all my ducks in a row. Fit healthy great job ….that kind of thing. Right now…I’m 65 sitting in my Aussie backyard with an old kangaroo that likes to visit I’m not my ideal weight bed not made dishes not done Hair not combed. I’ve become a procrastinator and my daughter says it’s about time. I’m OK just as I am and was.. it’s all OK. I now fully understand what John Lennon meant when he said “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans”. I might go and wash the dishes …..or not.

  22. A good friend and I were having a conversation about this just today – about focusing on what matters most and is most beneficial, and cutting out the mediocre. Which involves discipline. This is an extremely timely post, and you are definitely not alone in your struggle!

  23. Oh sweet friend, you spoke your heart, and unknowingly spoke mine too! You are so talented, and beautiful, and faith-filled, you can accomplish anything you want. I’m so excited to watch, and support you with prayer and Love! GO Traci!

  24. It’s hard to be disciplined in every area of your life. Celebrate your strengths and build on those.

  25. Oh Traci! Girl you are not alone!! I am doing the 21 Day Fix with your sissy (and I see your name in there too but not sure if you’re participating…uhem!! ) ;-). My goal is to make this part of my everyday life, but I usually stick with something for awhile and then I putter out ;-( Bible study is definitely something I love, but am not always disciplined in either. My good friends keep me accountable…it also helps to be part of Community Bible Study throughout the school year too! ;-) You are so awesome to share your struggles with all of us…you are def NOT alone girlfriend!! However, you are a loving, kind, compassionate child of the LIVING God who has created you in HIS image!! And He loves you just the way you are!! ….I’m excited to hear about what’s happening 1/2 way across the country ….I think I know what it is, but I won’t say anything ;-) Very exciting though!! You can do ALL things with Christ Traci!! He gives YOU the strength !! God bless and thanks for sharing your heart with us!!

  26. You are so funny :) You are so beautiful, and your home is gorgeous, and your blog is so inspirational…. you need rest. Rest in the Lord. I recently did the bible study entitled Breathe by Priscilla Shirer. This study helped me see how the gifts that God has given me, ie. home, kids, job, clothes, food…, were to bless me and not enslave me. Jesus died so that you could be free. Not enslaved by people or things. Resting in the Lord, or sabbath, was given to us as a gift. I think most people today don’t realize that. I know I didn’t. Look into this study. I believe it will bless you because time in God’s word is never wasted :) Hang in there. I will be praying for you !

  27. well, I certainly could have written your letter to day. add some thyroid disease into the mix. AND I would have to tell you how many years ago a friends father told us (ladys church group that quilted and did other things requiring some diy and crafting that churches seem to need being done regularly) you sisters have vast ideas but vast ambition. say that one fairly fast. anyway it does not get better with age and being hard on ones self never helps. God bless you and the other readers struggling with this.

  28. This is what I totally love about you. You are so real Traci. This is something we all struggle with. Let’s lift each other in prayer, not only to live a more disciplined life, but to also make peace with our “imperfections”.

  29. Oh Traci….did this oost ever hit the mark for me! My discipline flew out the window a long time ago…hence, I too am about 40 lbs. overweight and the exercise is nonexistent. I have not scrapbooked or made cards since my sister got very ill and eventually passed away. That was 7 years ago. I walk through my hobby room every day on my way to my laundry room and could very easily sit down and get creative, but do I…NO! I need to be more proactive in reading my bible everyday. I say my prayers and thank God throughout my day, but I crave more. Discipline is the key in all these areas of my life and I must start working on this…you inspire me! Thank you! Out of the many blogs that I read, yours is my absolute favorite!
    I’m hoping that your secret is that Jonathan is trying out for The Voice. I watch it religiously and have always thought he should try out, whenever I listen to one of his videos that you post.
    I will pray for you and all that you are going through!
    Thank you for inspiring me!❤️

  30. Traci that is what I love about you, you keep it real and honest! I struggle with these exact same things as you do, weight, wants vs. needs, etc.

    I just woke up a little early this Sunday and had extra time to just sit at my computer before getting ready to go to church this morning. I so appreciate your thoughts and scripture. It has helped me to prepare my mind for worship today.

    I will lift you up today in prayer, I know you do the same for a me! ;)

    Hugs and BLESSINGS to you my friend.
    Marilyn C.

  31. This is a vicious cycle; weight gain, unhappiness, procrastination. I have been through it. Where do you start? How can you feel better when every day you’re so upset about your weight? The biggest mistake I see people make consistently in my 25 years of teaching fitness is that people try to do too much at once and they cannot maintain the changes. I suggest starting with a small fitness goal: a fifteen minute walk 6 days a week. Period. Do not increase that until you do it consistently for a month. It will be good for your back and your mind. You can talk to God while you walk.
    Next make one change in your diet. I recommend ditching the soda. It is poison, empty calories. You can taper off gradually if you need to. Do It. Drink some coffee instead, a couple cups a day ( but not too much sugar or cream!) are actually good for you.
    Try this for one day and you will feel better. Then do it the next. And the next. I promise it works. Good luck.

  32. Wow, I think you wrote this for me :) I deal with the same issues, and sat down yesterday trying to map out some ways to overcome them. But the couch was comfy and I took a nap instead :) Definitely keep us posted on your discipline success!

  33. Did you read my mind? So much to do especially today before our company, a family of 7 arrives. We baerly got the girls’ things put back in their rooms. Weight…on going. Time management and distrations from blog / work. Getting better a that. Felling like a good week is coming but school next weeks! Not yet!!! Trying to finish somethings up before I head out on necessary errands! Looking forward to a joyful day!!

  34. Thank you so much for your honestly and sharing your heart with us as readers. What you wrote could have been spoken from my lips for sure. I struggle with ALL of the 3 things you listed as well. I read blogs and it’s hard not to think, “Gosh, she has EVERYTHING going for her and her life is PERFECT and how does she do it all?”. As I sit her at my desk from the bank I work for I realize we ALL have struggles and need each others encouragement and honestly. I myself feel like I have to put on a front of everything is great, when deep down I’m struggling with several things. I say that to say again, thank you for being so open. I pray that I can learn to be more open and honest with myself about my struggles and also by God’s grace overcome them with HIS help.

    1. Sweet Rachel! I am sending you a hug across the internet!!! You and I are just like every woman in the world that is trying to hold it all together. I’m almost 45 years old, and I am realizing more everyday that I still have so much to learn, and I want the Lord to be my teacher (not the world.)
      I’m going to just take it one day at a time with Him and focus on what matters most. WE CAN DO IT!! xoxo Bless you!!!

  35. Soooooooo relating with this post today……. even though my children are grown and I have grandchildren… I am struggling with some of these very issues!! Have always loved and enjoyed keeping a clean organized “smell good” home…. have never had major issues with my weight.. but now I am struggling with “Discipline” in these VERY ISSUES!! …. Was seeking God about some of these very things early this morning!! so glad I saw your post and read to the end!!!! I am excited with you … on this amazing journey God has blessed us with !!!! Can’t wait to see your new office… and maybe get some “Discipline” hints along the way as well!!! Blessings!!!!!!!

    1. WE CAN DO THIS, TERRI!! :) I will share any discipline tricks that work for me. I’ve been doing better lately, and it feels so good! Bless you!

  36. Traci, your post really touched my heart! I think we can all relate, you’re certainly not alone :).

    Something that might help you the way it helped us…reducing carbs, grains, sugar. Have you considered Trim Healthy Mama, or a low carb way of eating? Both hubby and I were able to lose over 80 lbs combined and have been able to keep it off for almost 8 years. It does add to cooking time (one more iron in the fire), but it’s so worth it! You’d be amazed at all of the wonderful things you and your family can enjoy eating this way. If you try it, and can get past the 2 week stage of sugar cravings in the beginning, you’ll be home free after that…no more cravings.

    Blessings to your and your family! I know you will find what works for you.

    1. We are getting there! Thank you for the encouragement. I have been cooking more at home than I ever have, and I can say that I am actually enjoying it. (I can’t believe I just said that!) I feel like we are finally making some really good choices as a family. :)

  37. Wow Traci! You nailed it Girl! You wrote a post that many of us could “copy & paste” in our personal journal because it so reflects the experiences that many women face! I too struggled with the food issue – a total lack of peace – for basically all my adult life. I hated it because I knew God had more for me and inside I had a gnawing sense that this issue was the obstacle preventing me from fulfilling the call and purpose God had on my life. But no matter how much I read diet books, attempted to diet, and prayed about it, my efforts were in vain. I knew I was missing something, but what?!! About four years ago I began to relentlessly pursue peace with food along with a friend. We vowed to ourselves and each other that we would never diet again and we would find peace if it were the last thing we did. I even signed a contract with myself! Our method was simple. We would become scientists, experimenting with what gave us peace, hence our mantra of “Follow peace”. If an option gave us peace we would keep it, if not, it was a deal breaker. Four years later we have greater peace than we ever dreamed possible and on Saturday (August 22nd) we are publishing our book – over 3 years in the making – {Peace with Food: Eat What You Want. Never Diet Again. Live a Happy Life.} that chronicles our journey, sharing with others how we found peace with food and how they can have it too. (I believe you are friends with Layla Palmer – we have actually secured her permission to use one of her posts in a vignette regarding brownie batter and there is also a vignette about my LOVE for cookie dough!) You can find the book on our blog at Our message to the world is simple. You can have peace and you can be free! The book is not a Christian book per se, but it is full of peace principles and we do talk about how we rely on our faith for strength. However, there is an accompanying Bible Study (not published yet) that is chock-full of Bible verses and Biblical principles regarding this subject. I will send you a copy. And I will be praying for you as you seek to honor God in this area. Thanks for sharing sweet Sister. Keep us posted! =)

    1. Thank you, Robynn! I am definitely changing my thoughts toward food. It’s going to be a journey, though. I have read the first few chapters of your book and have really enjoyed it. Is it available on Amazon now?

  38. I struggle with discipline, also. Weight (emotional eater), house work, crafts. Thanks for being so honest. It helps a little knowing you have struggles. Love your blog!

  39. Thank you so much for your honesty and transparency, reasons why I love your blog. I can relate to everything you said, this summer God has been speaking to me about the Fruit of the Spirit, especially self-control. 😒
    If you haven’t read it yet I highly recommend Lysa Terkeurst’s Made to Crave. It is life changing.
    God Bless

  40. OK, so I just spent the last 10 minutes reading what you wrote about MY LIFE!!! Wow! I’m speechless! Thank You for sharing your heart – there isn’t anything you’ve said that I cannot relate to!
    God Bless You, and me, as we strive to discipline our lives to please God!

    1. Hate to know we are both struggling, but glad to know we are not in it alone. :) Let’s pray for each other!! I’m getting better in some areas, but still working on others.

  41. Lack of discipline…hmmm…ME? oh yes! However, I have seen a lot of improvement since joining up with Courtney at Good Morning Girls(Women Living She puts up a book of the bible that we go through, which is 1 chapter per day for the month. This gives me accountability. Women around the US and even the world are doing it together from home. It’s been a blessing. Also,I read the book “Discipline: The Glad Surrender” by Elizabeth Elliot. It’s a game-changer! Praying for you….:)

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