Friends, I’ve been keeping a little secret from ya!
Last year was a pretty exciting year for us because we worked on a possible pilot for an HGTV show with Pitch 5 Productions!!!
In January of last year, my agent asked if I would be interested at all in possibly shooting a pilot for HGTV. Of course, I said YES!
In February, we did a few Skype calls with our production company, and they put together a little 5 minute “teaser reel” of our family to send to HGTV. Then crickets….
It wasn’t until late spring until we heard back from Pitch 5 that HGTV had “bumped us up to the top of their list” and wanted to create a more in depth “sizzle real” for a possible pilot. We were nervous and excited at the same time.
After a ton of phone calls and emails, the HGTV camera crew and Pitch 5 Production manager, Grace, were set to come to our house this past September to shoot us doing a makeover. I took this picture when they first showed up! We were freaking out! haha!
Since we didn’t have any specific clients that we were working with at the time, we decided to have them sho0t us adding the kitchenette to our guest house in our backyard. We recruited two of our best friends from college, Dave and Jen, to pretend to be our “clients. ” haha! They were awesome, and we had SO MUCH fun shooting with them that day!
We also filmed at Old World Timber with our other college buddy, Nate and his sister, Liz. They created the shelves for the kitchenette in our guest house. I love the heart of this company and the beautiful products they make!
Pitch 5 was at our home for four days shooting for the sizzle reel. It was exhausting and exhilarating. Cy and I had a blast together, and truly did not feel nervous at all in front of the cameras. We were just being ourselves and did what we have done together for the past 20 years!
The HGTV crew was AMAZING, and it was such a blessing to work with such a talented group of people.
The kids were AWESOME and did so great in front of the camera! I was SOOOOO proud of them! They worked their little tails off to help us on the guest house!
They wanted to film us around the campfire after the first day of working, and we all enjoyed doing that together as a family too!
It was so cool to work together as a family on this project. We were all supporting and encouraging each other, and it was truly a special time. I will always have so many precious memories from this pocket of time in our lives.
After the shoot, it took a few weeks for them to put the sizzle reel together and send it to HGTV. The process is kind of lengthy…HGTV would make some revisions and send it back to them to edit. They went back and forth about 8 times, and each time, the notes from HGTV were very positive.
Right before Christmas, we got an email from Pitch 5 saying that HGTV was pushing for us to go to pilot!!! I couldn’t believe it!! That meant that HGTV would come back and sho0t a full episode of us to possibly air on tv. It doesn’t mean that it would actually ever air….the possibility was still very low. It’s crazy how small the chances are to actually get a show on HGTV!
But I didn’t even care if it didn’t make it to tv! I was just so honored that they were even considering us, and I looked forward to creating the content and filming the pilot regardless…that’s my favorite part! And to think that I would get to do work that I love with the ones I love the most, my family, was just more than my little heart could take.
On a personal note, in a way, I felt that the Lord was answering some of my prayers, and I was so excited to see what He was up to. It is so cool to be walking forward in what you feel the Lord has planned for you.
However, just a few weeks ago, I got an email from Grace saying that HGTV decided to pass on our pilot.
Not even going to sugar coat it…I cried. A lot.
I read the email when I was in my car and getting ready to run into Kroger’s to get some groceries for dinner. All of a sudden, 2019 went from a year full of exciting possibilities, to nothing. What I mean by that is that I really didn’t have much planned for 2019, as far as my business was concerned.
For a year, I had been in talks with our production company and HGTV about a possible tv show!! That’s crazy! Since then, every thing that I have planned has been contingent on the possibility of having a tv show. This year could have looked crazy different for our family. We could have been planning and shooting a pilot for HGTV, which would have taken up a lot of our time and energy, and possibly cause job changes for both Cy and I. So I had kind of left my calendar and my plans “open” for this year, just in case…..ya know?
So I sat in my car and cried. I called Cy, and I cried more. I just couldn’t believe that all of the hoping and planning had come to a complete stop. Done. Now what?
And of course, feelings of inadequacy and rejection settled in. “They didn’t like me.” “I’m too old.” “I’m not good enough.” It’s hard not to let your thoughts go there….
I finally got myself together and put a little bit of my eye makeup back on, and reluctantly walked in to Kroger’s to get groceries. I held back tears as I walked up and down the aisles. Feeling completely rejected and sorry for myself, I just couldn’t believe my dream was over.
As I was checking out, I overheard a conversation of a lady behind me. She was talking to a friend about her cancer being in remission, and all of a sudden everything came into perspective for me. Cancer. Now that’s something to cry about.
Cancer took my mom’s life way too early. As I stood there listening to the lady behind me talk about her treatments, I could hear my sweet mama’s voice… “Traci, honey, I know your heart is broken, but you keep your head up. I’m still so proud of you. Life doesn’t always give us what we want, but it’s still full of so many BLESSINGS. Just keep looking for them.”
Thank you, mom.
My sadness didn’t immediately go away. I was still heart broken. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be sad…but it’s not okay to sit there and waller in it.
I’m so thankful for the experience of working with Pitch 5 and HGTV. I learned so much about myself, about Cy, and about my kids.
And I still have dreams of doing work in front of the camera some day. I don’t know what that means or what that will look like, but I’ll never stop dreaming. I want my kids to always remember their mama as a dreamer. They know how much I wanted this HGTV thing to work out. They saw me cry. They gave me lots of hugs.
But they didn’t see me stay in my sadness. I want to be an example to them off getting back up, wiping off the dust, and continuing to pursue my dreams and passions. Life is too short to be sitting in a puddle of tears all day. :)
A couple days later, I was scrolling through Instagram and this post by Beth Moore popped up on my screen.
I know that at first it felt like we got a “NO” from HGTV, but we really got a “NO” from God.
And you know, I’ll take His NO for my life anytime because I know that His NO is always what is best for me. I trust HIS PLANS for my life, not mine or HGTV’s.
His plans bring me more joy and peace than any tv show ever could!
So there ya go! My little secret is out of the bag!
Of course, I was hoping to be sharing with you that HGTV was coming to shoot a pilot, and then praying that maybe that pilot would actually air. But that’s not the news I had for you today. And that’s okay. :)
But I did want to share my favorite version of our teaser reel that Pitch 5 produced. I love watching it, and I know I will love watching it years from now when all the kids are grown and gone. Such precious memories.
The “sizzle reel” is supposed to just be a “taste” of what our show would possibly be like. It’s not tv quality and not a full episode…just a ‘teaser.’
I hope y’all enjoy it!